Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
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Top comments
bonafidehustler 0
Yeah, this would definitely be way funnier from her perspective.
redbluegreen 41
Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.
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Comments (119)
twilax101 0
#1 & #5. No one gives a shit. Uhm. Explain when your both sober?
tWitt3rBuG 0
Dude, that's cold. After a night of drinking man, I'm sure your's was none the better! Fail for even making this a FML. FHL coz you're totally unreasonable... In all fairness tho, she shud've known her breath was bad and kept quite or brushed first!
friedchkn97 4
*quiet
zabears40 0
well now you know how your D smells
thpiper10 0
awww that stinks
genius_man16 1
How does someone have bad breath SO BAD that it makes someone vomit? Heavy drinking or not, that is hardcore bad breath FYL indeed
turkeyblobs 5
It IS possible to throw up because of someones bad breath. i actually saw it on 1000 ways to die. a woman had tape over her mouth and had no way of taking it off. someone with really bad breath( with halitosis) spoke in her face. it was basically scientificaly explained how she could throw up just by bad breath. she ended up basically choking on her vomit and I'm sure its as bad as morning breath (halitosis). theres no way he can control whether he theows up or not (unless intentional) so dont throw it so much on OP.
HailSatan 0
"Today, I rolled over to tell my boyfriend I love him. He immediately got out of bed and ran to puke, leaving a trail for me to clean. FML"
redbluegreen 41
Eh, I wanted to throw up before from smelling someone's bad breath. But also, if you were both drinking the night before, throwing up in the morning isn't that difficult to do. Anything could've pushed you over, whether it'd be breakfast, noise, or your girlfriend's breath. Now, if you hadn't been drinking, then... FYL. There's a difference.
user908 0
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend after a night of heavy drinking. I rolled towards him, and said, "I love you". He jumped up and rushed to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
KaY_mer_James 0
She obviously doesn't know that girls get up before their boyfriends and brush their teeth, then get back in bed !
xHaniffax 0
more like F her Life