Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
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Top comments
B5B0N35 18
What a dick
Welshite 40
The bend and SNAP! It's a totally legitimate method. I've used it myself.
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Comments (74)
Obey_StudBoii 23
What a ******* ass. He shouldn't have been looking. If he didn't like it then the only thing he had to do was look the other way instead of being a ****** douche and acting like a child. Someone needs to knock some sense into him.
chuka81 27
You've been very naughty OP, haven't you?
imo22 3
how exactly is putting on a show even sexual harrassment? She dressed this way, she moved that way... i feel very sorry for you OP and hope things get better!
perdix 31
Window washers are such backstabbing tight-asses!
Spider_Web 11
I don't think they got the FML reference
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
That shit actually made it to HR? And you got SUSPENDED over it? I would fight that ruling tooth and nail because that's some serious bull. A woman simply bending over these days is considered harrassment? SMH
starile 20
#39, quit being such a ******* drama queen. If you think men having some damn self-control and a sense of decency turns them into walking drones, then take your supposedly uncontrollable throbbing **** and blue balls to the restroom and take your problems elsewhere. There are PLENTY of decent guys that can get along with both sexes in the workplace just fine.
brewmasterg 34
Women and men alike both have the right to feel safe in their workplaces. That being said the claim being put against OP does seem ridiculous.
ultra_notorious 26
you were harassing him and got busted, suck it up.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Make up something bad about him and report him.
Xotoolyxo 16
He's just mad because he has no chance with you
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
You know you could only be "putting on a show" if he was watching. I mean it's not a view if he wasn't looking. Don't worry OP you didn't do anything wrong. He's just a perv.
bigpops 12
beat his ass. ....