By Oh-Shit! - 10/08/2013 15:23 - United States

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 144
You deserved it 5 473

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Wizardo 33

The wording of this FML is as poetic as a mushroom cloud of faecal matter being emitted from thy anus OP, well done I approve.

Imagine the look on their faces as a brown cloud appeared...

Comments

WompWompWomp123 7

holy shit, that sucks!

No. I thought it was a good think he took this massive dump in front of the kayakers

I can also imagine Kanye West stopping op and saying, "imma let you finish in a minute, but Kim had the greatest shit of all time"

The_Water_Ninja 9

@TheCanucklehead, you sir, have made my afternoon. haven't laughedd that good in a while

SwaggCapone 11

1....there's a button for that

Come on guys it was a shit pun.

I think "that blows" would've been more appropriate in this situation.

Imagine what they were thinking

They were horrified

"I have never seen shit fly that fast"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit paddle fast.

Fire in the hole!

Why did you bring me to Shit Creek??

andits 21

That really stinks.....

assassinbanana0 20

So does your pun

That was a pun? I thought that was just them being stupid and not being able to find the button that says that. Why can no one ever find it?!

caohm 18

fml broadcast here viewing one he'll comment today. #2 in complete desperation to be witty but also get the comment in before others MUST hit this comment out the park. *#2 looks nervous* it doesn't look she can think of anything so......oh no....... she goes for the oldest shit joke in the book this can't end well. let's see what happens. *she types the joke, she closes her eyes and wildly swings! ........oh nothing but air. it shame to see. tune in next on FML broadcast

caohm 18

I mean #3 Damn now our ratings will go down! what is this amateur hour?!

ApollosMyth 22

No 44, I usually find amateur hour to be funny. This was not.

Imagine the look on their faces as a brown cloud appeared...

Edit: I'm sure they understood that that was an uncontrollable act after the fact. Keep swimming OP, it'll come off after a few laps.

We're you AT the lake or IN the lake? Either way, I expect there was a shitstorm of yelling from the kayakers after your personal shitstorm.

I was thinking the same thing. It's one thing to be in the water and just quietly swim far away from the brown cloud of death, but it's a whole other thing to make eye contact whilst squatting and, erm, evacuating.

SirTalkaton 22

What a crappy situation. I bet their minds were blown!

Grauncho 27

Wow. Just don't.

At least he didn't say shitty situation

I have no idea what you are talking about. But I'm just putting things here because. Well. Why not.

Poppy8127 15

He/she took a shit in front of two people. It's not hard to understand

You, sir or ma'am, have wasted a comment. It's not too hard to reread the FML.

It is when you speak English, Spanish and French.

I dont think thats a good excuse their are many ppl that speak several languages and have no problem rereading the fml to understand

alshygirl 14

Your picture makes it look like a comment bubble is coming out of your ass lol

Wizardo 33

The wording of this FML is as poetic as a mushroom cloud of faecal matter being emitted from thy anus OP, well done I approve.

countryrose92 23

I agree

Good use of personification. OP makes the colon sound so formal

I read your comment, scanned the FML for a ":" but then realized what you meant. Well done.

Yes! This is perfect! I think this might be my favorite FML ever, just because it is so wonderfully written! Great job OP!

RandomRaybay 13

I approve this message

Well said indeed. I'm gonna memorize It by heart just in case

I'm sure it was terrifying for the fish in the lake too! I hope you're ok though OP, it's never fun to shit yourself.