Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
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By
Wizardo
| 33
The wording of this FML is as poetic as a mushroom cloud of faecal matter being emitted from thy anus OP, well done I approve.
By
buckerado
| 19
Imagine the look on their faces as a brown cloud appeared...
COMMENTS
By
WompWompWomp123
| 7
holy shit, that sucks!
Reply
TheCanucklehead
| 22
No. I thought it was a good think he took this massive dump in front of the kayakers
Reply
TheCanucklehead
| 22
I can also imagine Kanye West stopping op and saying, "imma let you finish in a minute, but Kim had the greatest shit of all time"
Reply
The_Water_Ninja
| 9
@TheCanucklehead, you sir, have made my afternoon. haven't laughedd that good in a while
Reply
SwaggCapone
| 11
1....there's a button for that
Reply
Neptuneflyer
| 4
Come on guys it was a shit pun.
Reply
Fedezzer
| 20
I think "that blows" would've been more appropriate in this situation.
By
mrobdagod
| 9
Imagine what they were thinking
Reply
Krystal3408
| 32
They were horrified
Reply
NoMore_CoolNames
| 14
"I have never seen shit fly that fast"
Reply
ForwardUn2Dawn
| 18
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit paddle fast.
Reply
lonewolf621
| 17
Fire in the hole!
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Why did you bring me to Shit Creek??
By
andits
| 21
That really stinks.....
Reply
assassinbanana0
| 20
So does your pun
Reply
venom2421
| 10
That was a pun? I thought that was just them being stupid and not being able to find the button that says that. Why can no one ever find it?!
Reply
caohm
| 18
fml broadcast here viewing one he'll comment today. #2 in complete desperation to be witty but also get the comment in before others MUST hit this comment out the park. *#2 looks nervous* it doesn't look she can think of anything so......oh no....... she goes for the oldest shit joke in the book this can't end well. let's see what happens. *she types the joke, she closes her eyes and wildly swings! ........oh nothing but air. it shame to see. tune in next on FML broadcast
Reply
caohm
| 18
I mean #3 Damn now our ratings will go down! what is this amateur hour?!
Reply
ApollosMyth
| 22
No 44, I usually find amateur hour to be funny. This was not.
By
buckerado
| 19
Imagine the look on their faces as a brown cloud appeared...
Reply
buckerado
| 19
Edit: I'm sure they understood that that was an uncontrollable act after the fact. Keep swimming OP, it'll come off after a few laps.
By
DocBastard
| 38
We're you AT the lake or IN the lake?
Either way, I expect there was a shitstorm of yelling from the kayakers after your personal shitstorm.
Either way, I expect there was a shitstorm of yelling from the kayakers after your personal shitstorm.
Reply
Mossears133
| 15
I was thinking the same thing. It's one thing to be in the water and just quietly swim far away from the brown cloud of death, but it's a whole other thing to make eye contact whilst squatting and, erm, evacuating.
By
SirTalkaton
| 22
What a crappy situation. I bet their minds were blown!
Reply
Grauncho
| 26
Wow. Just don't.
Reply
j_729
| 18
At least he didn't say shitty situation
By
Grayness_
| 26
I have no idea what you are talking about. But I'm just putting things here because. Well. Why not.
Reply
Poppy8127
| 15
He/she took a shit in front of two people. It's not hard to understand
Reply
michelleJ11
| 25
You, sir or ma'am, have wasted a comment. It's not too hard to reread the FML.
Reply
Grayness_
| 26
It is when you speak English, Spanish and French.
Reply
Jayalferez
| 15
I dont think thats a good excuse their are many ppl that speak several languages and have no problem rereading the fml to understand
By
tacojauns
| 45
Shits Ahoy
Reply
alshygirl
| 14
Your picture makes it look like a comment bubble is coming out of your ass lol
By
Wizardo
| 33
The wording of this FML is as poetic as a mushroom cloud of faecal matter being emitted from thy anus OP, well done I approve.
Reply
countryrose92
| 23
I agree
Reply
graffitied_love
| 20
Good use of personification. OP makes the colon sound so formal
Reply
Autocorrected
| 11
I read your comment, scanned the FML for a ":" but then realized what you meant. Well done.
Reply
Amama_fml
| 30
Yes! This is perfect! I think this might be my favorite FML ever, just because it is so wonderfully written! Great job OP!
Reply
RandomRaybay
| 13
I approve this message
Reply
confusedAsFuck
| 34
Well said indeed. I'm gonna memorize It by heart just in case
By
PandaSmile
| 24
I'm sure it was terrifying for the fish in the lake too! I hope you're ok though OP, it's never fun to shit yourself.