By Oh-Shit! - 10/08/2013 15:23 - United States

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 144
You deserved it 5 473
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Wizardo 33

The wording of this FML is as poetic as a mushroom cloud of faecal matter being emitted from thy anus OP, well done I approve.

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buckerado 19
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Imagine the look on their faces as a brown cloud appeared...

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Comments

WompWompWomp123 7

holy shit, that sucks!

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TheCanucklehead 22
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No. I thought it was a good think he took this massive dump in front of the kayakers

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TheCanucklehead 22
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I can also imagine Kanye West stopping op and saying, "imma let you finish in a minute, but Kim had the greatest shit of all time"

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The_Water_Ninja 9

@TheCanucklehead, you sir, have made my afternoon. haven't laughedd that good in a while

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SwaggCapone 11

1....there's a button for that

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Neptuneflyer 4
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Come on guys it was a shit pun.

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Fedezzer 20
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I think "that blows" would've been more appropriate in this situation.

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mrobdagod 9
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Imagine what they were thinking

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Krystal3408 32
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They were horrified

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NoMore_CoolNames 14
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"I have never seen shit fly that fast"

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ForwardUn2Dawn 18
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Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit paddle fast.

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lonewolf621 17
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Fire in the hole!

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ohSNAPyall 26
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Why did you bring me to Shit Creek??

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andits 21

That really stinks.....

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assassinbanana0 20

So does your pun

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venom2421 10
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That was a pun? I thought that was just them being stupid and not being able to find the button that says that. Why can no one ever find it?!

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caohm 18

fml broadcast here viewing one he'll comment today. #2 in complete desperation to be witty but also get the comment in before others MUST hit this comment out the park. *#2 looks nervous* it doesn't look she can think of anything so......oh no....... she goes for the oldest shit joke in the book this can't end well. let's see what happens. *she types the joke, she closes her eyes and wildly swings! ........oh nothing but air. it shame to see. tune in next on FML broadcast

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caohm 18

I mean #3 Damn now our ratings will go down! what is this amateur hour?!

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ApollosMyth 22

No 44, I usually find amateur hour to be funny. This was not.

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buckerado 19
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Imagine the look on their faces as a brown cloud appeared...

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buckerado 19
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Edit: I'm sure they understood that that was an uncontrollable act after the fact. Keep swimming OP, it'll come off after a few laps.

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DocBastard 38
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We're you AT the lake or IN the lake? Either way, I expect there was a shitstorm of yelling from the kayakers after your personal shitstorm.

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Mossears133 15
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I was thinking the same thing. It's one thing to be in the water and just quietly swim far away from the brown cloud of death, but it's a whole other thing to make eye contact whilst squatting and, erm, evacuating.

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SirTalkaton 22

What a crappy situation. I bet their minds were blown!

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Grauncho 27

Wow. Just don't.

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j_729 18
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At least he didn't say shitty situation

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Grayness_ 26
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I have no idea what you are talking about. But I'm just putting things here because. Well. Why not.

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Poppy8127 15

He/she took a shit in front of two people. It's not hard to understand

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michelleJ11 25
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You, sir or ma'am, have wasted a comment. It's not too hard to reread the FML.

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Grayness_ 26
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It is when you speak English, Spanish and French.

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Jayalferez 15
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I dont think thats a good excuse their are many ppl that speak several languages and have no problem rereading the fml to understand

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alshygirl 14

Your picture makes it look like a comment bubble is coming out of your ass lol

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Wizardo 33

The wording of this FML is as poetic as a mushroom cloud of faecal matter being emitted from thy anus OP, well done I approve.

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countryrose92 23

I agree

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graffitied_love 20
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Good use of personification. OP makes the colon sound so formal

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Autocorrected 11
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I read your comment, scanned the FML for a ":" but then realized what you meant. Well done.

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Amama_fml 30
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Yes! This is perfect! I think this might be my favorite FML ever, just because it is so wonderfully written! Great job OP!

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RandomRaybay 13

I approve this message

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confusedAsFuck 34
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Well said indeed. I'm gonna memorize It by heart just in case

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PandaSmile 24
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I'm sure it was terrifying for the fish in the lake too! I hope you're ok though OP, it's never fun to shit yourself.

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