Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
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Top comments
Yunie_fml 0
Stupid, but only because America can't take a joke anymore.
Warlock_fml 0
Yeah, it is stupid. Airport security has gotten way outta control. And studies show that we're no more safe now then we were before 9/11. All of this extra security is just to make white people feel safe(note: I am white and give a shit about airport security). The late great George Carlin has a great bit about airport security.
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Comments (63)
musicislife_fml 0
It sucks that this happened... But really?? You're gonna say "explode" in an airport after being stopped for looking suspicious?
npk88 0
to the OP...yeah that was a really stupid thing to say but we've all had slips of the tongue before. #6 you're a ******* moron.
alex_vik 1
Never say any words regarding guns, explosions, or anything violent at the airport. Seriously, is that so hard?
sondramcfail 0
Ooh, nice one. :P Reminds me of that Meet the Parents scene, haha! Worst thing is, I could totally see that happening to me...
Spitfire_fml 0
That sucks. Sounds like something I would do, too.
RPGod 0
They are so annoying at the security. Do they really think somebody's going to happen with all that shit?
kat666 0
I would've though that it was an unwritten that you DON'T MENTION ANY WORDS TO DO WITH BOMBS AT AN AIRPORT!!! Just ask Charley Boorman, he'll tell you that!!
Kyothine 0
What a waste of time. It's all about the illusion of safety to them.
blahblahblah44 0
#8 is an asshole.
Hoff 0
bomb jokes at an airport! yea! smart!