Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Welcome to Management.
712sash 26
Sounds like you're stressed. You should try some thing to chill a little :)
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Comments (56)
DocDrose 20
sounds like you need to take some time to relax
tompou6 19
I think it's time to get a punching bag and stick a picture on it or a dart board, both work quite well.
farmboy555 7
Angry-management
Ubehage 32
Now, why would you hit an employee? That is just primitive... YDI!
vikky538 28
dreams for good...it releases your tension...
PurelyCanadian 18
Subliminal messages? I hope you don't conciously deal with his work ethic that way!
christian_slate 16
This seems more like a oh-no-look-at-me Facebook staus update than an FML post.
MistyDaySupreme 6
So you're at the 'Hate you to death' or well, dream phase. Haha, I remember having to go through that, with my manager from hell/co-workers who could barely even remotely do the job correctly. Yet ANYTHING went wrong, I myself was blamed for it. Total bull. Good luck, OP.
CrazyMelvin 14
At least it was only a dream
MatsumotoMania 13
Today, my supervisor beat me up and called me useless. Right before I burst into tears, a powerful punch woke me up, and I realized my girlfriend was hitting me in my sleep. My alarm goes off in three minutes. FML.