Animals: Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 05:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 129

You deserved it 1 283

Late term

I'm not lovin' it

Simps gonna simp

By =( - 15/02/2015 14:52 - Australia

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 690

You deserved it 4 142

By ccrex - 05/08/2019 20:00

Today, I put my phone on top the car while putting my daughter in her car seat. Told myself not to forget it. Then I drove away, and it flew off the top of the car on the freeway. It got ran over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 1 453

By Anonymous - 12/03/2016 11:13 - United Kingdom - London

Today, an attention seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding with no bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 972

You deserved it 2 071

By "willkftw" - 14/04/2019 16:00

Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 146

By "people these days" - 19/07/2013 20:36 - United States - Fairfax

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 842

You deserved it 15 825

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 18:30 - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 557

You deserved it 4 549

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 6 340

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 8 058

Knock out

By Anonymous - 25/02/2020 14:00

Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 326

By Silent - 01/06/2012 14:24 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 889

You deserved it 4 655

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 12:58 - India - Mumbai

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 274

You deserved it 3 093

By shorty4 - 13/07/2012 14:36 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 7 654

By bronzemedal97 - 15/06/2009 11:40 - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 521

You deserved it 3 207

Toxic

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 22:00

Today, I realized my husband of 30 years consistently makes fun of me in front of friends, and he gets mad when I express opinions contrary to his. I don't think he respects me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 138

By NoorFML - 19/10/2012 14:37 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 166

You deserved it 2 024

Unreasonable

By Tanner_6969 - 11/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 08:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 014

You deserved it 2 229

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 185

By AvengdSevenfold - 24/08/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 808

You deserved it 9 036

By rainbows? more like shitstorms - 17/08/2012 00:22 - United States

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 692

You deserved it 2 039

By mishie1 - 21/02/2012 12:44 - United States

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 648

You deserved it 2 913

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 14:30

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 449

You deserved it 201

By anon - 16/02/2014 12:56 - Australia - Kingston

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 440

You deserved it 20 111

By Anonymous - 30/06/2015 07:51 - United States - Rochester

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 334

You deserved it 1 872

Poor odds

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 02:01 - Saint Lucia - Castries

Spicy

Today, I looked into my fiance's Twitter to see he follows tons of "nipslips" and adult/porn pages, even though we've had numerous fights with him making excuses as to how/why I've been "misunderstanding" past issues. At this point I've pretty much bet my life on this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 791

By nothungry - 29/07/2009 00:47 - United States

Today, after four years of anorexia and lots of recovery, my parents took me out to dinner with my counselor and whole family to celebrate my progress. I ended up eating something that made me vomit everything I ate. My parents now think I am bulmic and are sending me back to counseling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 262

You deserved it 5 133

By James - 30/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked the restaurant manager if he could arrange to deliver an engagement ring to me and my girlfriend with our desserts. Desserts came, no ring. That guy wasn’t the manager, just a guy in a suit who legged it with my ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 1 982

By onedollar - 24/07/2010 21:56 - Venezuela

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 668

You deserved it 65 548

By Charon - 09/10/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 304

You deserved it 3 813

By zitroskies - 07/10/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 734

You deserved it 3 025

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:01 - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 690

You deserved it 3 000

By Anonymous - 13/01/2019 16:00

Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 273

By Ew - 26/05/2016 13:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 432

You deserved it 12 025

By Bigpoppa0507 - 31/08/2011 14:02 - Canada

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 351

You deserved it 14 622

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 19:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 620

You deserved it 1 480

By chamberpottime - 16/12/2015 08:58 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 149

You deserved it 1 480

By snowman - 06/02/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 945

You deserved it 11 797

By Wtfbro - 24/12/2013 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 954

You deserved it 5 777

By 123alleyesonme - 02/11/2012 04:17 - United States - Austin

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 833

You deserved it 5 079

By lyssanthamum - 09/04/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 460

You deserved it 4 414

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Top comments

Utetopia2014 18

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:34

When I was younger, we had a dog. He got old, and developed a tumor in his spine, which led to paralysis. It started slowly. At first he just dragged his back foot along the ground. We thought he'd just hurt is foot at some point, and decided to monitor it. But the paralysis got worse. It went up his leg, and then spread to his other foot and leg. Although he seemed happy enough, he couldn't walk, and when he did move, he dragged himself around. But mainly he was carried everywhere. Because of his age and the cost of the test to see if it would be worth operating, the decision was made to put him down. My parents organised the fateful day with the vet. My mum had decided she wanted to bury him in yard, and plant a tree or shrub there. So the day before our dog was due to be put down, dad went outside to dig a hole. It was a sunny day, so our dog laid out there too. Our dog watched his own grave get dug.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:32

Sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is like losing a family member.

Comments

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:32

Sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is like losing a family member.

Angelkisses130 26

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:50

It's not "like" losing a family member, it IS losing a family member. Honestly some dogs are so sweet and loving and loyal that they beat out blood family anyday

Utetopia2014 18

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:34

When I was younger, we had a dog. He got old, and developed a tumor in his spine, which led to paralysis. It started slowly. At first he just dragged his back foot along the ground. We thought he'd just hurt is foot at some point, and decided to monitor it. But the paralysis got worse. It went up his leg, and then spread to his other foot and leg. Although he seemed happy enough, he couldn't walk, and when he did move, he dragged himself around. But mainly he was carried everywhere. Because of his age and the cost of the test to see if it would be worth operating, the decision was made to put him down. My parents organised the fateful day with the vet. My mum had decided she wanted to bury him in yard, and plant a tree or shrub there. So the day before our dog was due to be put down, dad went outside to dig a hole. It was a sunny day, so our dog laid out there too. Our dog watched his own grave get dug.

Dynosaur_dollie 38

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:42

Well that was unexpectedly morbid... I thought there was going to be some kind of sympathetic end sentence for OP about losing a pet, not a rather sad ending like that.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:43

That was so depressing

Angelkisses130 26

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:52

I don't know why this got down voted, it really tugged at my heart strings :(

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Sunday 17 January 2016 8:00

Well now I'm sad. R.I.P

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Sunday 17 January 2016 12:56

Man, that sucks. The same thing happened to my Grandma

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Sunday 17 January 2016 18:04

Hey, the dog spent some quality time with his owner. I feel more for the dad digging the hole.

silent_shark 10

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Sunday 17 January 2016 18:23

i was just horny, now im not thanks alot.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 18:33

I started reading it, thinking it was going to be one of those "and nothing could compare to the cancer this gave me" kinda things. Until it never happened and now I'm sad.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 19:59

Want depressing? My family had a collie years ago, not a digger. When she was old and sick, towards the end and she knew it, she started digging a hole behind the row of cedars in the yard. She was digging her own grave. Sorry OP. Cherish the memories.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 20:04

Sorry for this, FML won't let me delete...

christinaannxo 8

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Sunday 17 January 2016 21:58

Oh my god I wasn't prepared for that! ??

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Monday 18 January 2016 23:56

Wow, I usually get on here for laughs, had no idea I would come across a comment that would make me tear up with sadness instead of laughter! Seriously though, that last line is what got me. I'm sorry for your loss!

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:36

My condolences, OP. I too am not a fan of coffee.

Roxas_hearts 27

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:38

Too soon.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:39

Waaaay too soon

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:57

I always suspected the coffee cultivators pulled the strings here on FML! Or people didn't like my lame joke. Whichever best preserves my self esteem.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 12:02

Too soon, but if it helps i found it quite funny!

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Sunday 17 January 2016 13:06

Naw. Not too soon at all. If OP is turning to the FML community for a bereavement support system, he's got WAAAY bigger issues than the loss of his dog

Lalala579121 27

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Sunday 17 January 2016 15:41

Well it makes sense in a convoluted way. Because pretty soon the dog will be the same as coffee. Ground.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:38

I'm so sorry! It's so hard when pets pass away. May your dog rest in peace.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:39

i don't know what to think about this. i'm sorry for your loss, OP, and i'm sure your dog is in a better place now.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 6:43

I understand the shit u'll go through after ur dog dies. been there, the only thing help me to adopt another.

feven 32

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Sunday 17 January 2016 7:03

What a morning :( sorry for your loss.

spicyburrito 18

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Sunday 17 January 2016 7:28

srry m8

FalloutScrolls 25

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Sunday 17 January 2016 8:08

Everyone get on the bus. We're going on a feels trip.

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Sunday 17 January 2016 8:42

*hugs*

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 9

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 166

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 93