By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 564
You deserved it 1 574

meg__1798 tells us more.

Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP

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These are the dangerous effects ER and grey's anatomy have on people...

don't ever let her watch House

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These are the dangerous effects ER and grey's anatomy have on people...

Don't forget House. It's always the weirdest treatment.

I used to have a friend who pretty much thought he was a doctor because he watched Grey's Anatomy and "it's basically the same thing right?". I couldn't convince him otherwise. He even tried to tell a nurse she was doing her job wrong one time when he was admitted to the hospital.

It's only dangerous on stupid people, but the stupid people are what's dangerous to everyone else.

I was talking to my chemistry teacher, and apparently one of the only medical show with legitimate medical information is Scrubs. Go figure.

That sucks

Teach her basic first aid? Or maybe show her one of those videos they show in 6th grade health class? I'm sorry OP, FYL

Thanks for the suggestion! Luckily she has some basic knowledge of first aid. When I was choking she ran over to me and was asking if she should do the Heimlich but I didn't respond so she started thinking of "alternatives" if I were to pass out. -OP

wow. that must have been scary. Good thing my mom isn't like that.

Yeah, I wouldn't let her touch me if that's how she thinks. Good grief. Can't fix stupid.

Why would anyone think it's a YDI?!

Because they're assholes OR they hit it by mistake. I know I've done that numerous times on FMLs that totally didn't deserve it.

Big fingers.

Every FML gets a percentage of automatic YDI's. Trolls and accidental hits.

has she seen the heat??

There was so much blood!

When I was younger and would accidentally choke on things my mom would just scream and run in circles while my sister would do the Heimlich maneuver on me

Thank God for your sister! I wonder who helped her when she choked.

Sounds like something my mom would. She panics when someone chokes.

Sounds like my mom. When my son was learning to eat my mom would scream whenever he gagged. Once in a restaurant she jumped up with her wine glass and screamed "the baby's choking!" while I just stuck my finger in and took his mushy banana out lol

Better than my family. We'd just laugh at the one choking

Well at least she cares but that is something I wouldn't attempt because of how dangerous that can get. Glad you're ok op!

don't ever let her watch House

Or else she'll pop a few Vicodin, spin a cane around, and inject the OP with a combination of AIDS and cancerous cells.

Well this may be out of place, but my older brother actually saved my mother's life a few years ago after she was having a stroke. He learnt about what he should do in that situation from watching house.. She was later hospitalised for around 4 months, and she would've died if it weren't for that.

House is my favorite slow, it's literally the first thing that came to my mind lol.