Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
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Top comments
sawdy 0
your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!
shaniqualee 2
Suck the foam off
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Comments (228)
moonlight_daze 8
YDI for referring to pop as "soda".
yaya_yachiru 0
#172 fails for referring to soda as "pop."
moonlight_daze 8
#176 fails for actually thinking that so-called food is "pizza". I win for ordering a medium POP with my real pizza here in Chicago.
Maddoctor 10
Eh, I gotta go with yaya for this one, it's not the 1950's anymore moonlight. And besides, you kind of had it coming by being one of those people who writes obscure YDI's. So...fail.
moonlight_daze 8
Maddoctor fails for eating shitty pizza and saying the word "soda". Maddoctor WINS for being a cute California girl who says "hella" and packs bomb ass weed, :-)
ashleeee 0
lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it aint that bad... well maybe it is ! but your father sounds amazing. i wonder how your mom looked with all that stuff on her face ;]
bob1233 0
HAHAHAH THIS MADE ME LAUGH SOOOOOO HARD
YamahaMama09 0
If she had just started sucking and swollowing as soon as she saw it start comming out there woulden't of been a scene ;-)
missshelbo 0
Kudos for the sexual innuendos.
ajb_r 0
not gunna lie; your brother's a genius & i actually died laughing
MzRodriquez95 0
Lmao. That pretty embarrassing & funny FYL
Blisted 0
your dad ftw
guitarheropimp2 0
sooo good
zach055 23
never eat the "s" food