Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
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Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
It was a mammogram, some damn women just can't be thankful enough for the little things.
LolFMLnot 10
That awkward moment when your bf touches your boobs in front of his parents and his parents look so proud.
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Comments (198)
RachelRampageXD 6
He sounds pretty frickin cool to me!!
iluvmykitty222 4
Ahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!! I would so break up with him!!!
ya_momma 4
You should have taken your time breaking up with him instead of writing this fml if thats how you felt.
jwp0211 17
I don't think this is the site to complain about your "horrible" life.
mtlfenix 7
At least you know the difference in the arsenal at his disposal ... Imagine how much more embarrassing it would be if you thought he was doing laser noises when he, in fact, was imitating two Desert Eagle .50 ... Pheww!!! that could have been really embarrassing OP!
fmlsams 27
If you "can't believe you're dating [him]," then Why. Are. You. Dating. Him.
waituwotm8 2
I would join him and making laser guns with my hands