Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting...

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 136

You deserved it 32 035

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Same thing different taste

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 735

You deserved it 2 418

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 493

You deserved it 3 484

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 2 603

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 138

The betrayal

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 4 768

By aroman2312 - 06/09/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 250

You deserved it 2 100

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 7 198

Fun

By :$. - 06/07/2012 21:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 844

You deserved it 7 633

racerapj 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:36

There still was an explosion in your pants.

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:36

You should've pulled out your pickaxe and built a wall around that shit. Creepers are serious business.

Comments

savour 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 12:54

Too funny

Maravillas91 1

Wednesday 1 August 2012 18:38

ok thats a straight lie!!!

MYpenguinLOVESme 1

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:28

That awkward moment...

Ressamies 6

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:01

well, atleast the "creeper" din't blow up the bbq

KaylaDawnn 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 14:58

Awe that's so cute. :3

PYROxSYCO3 7

Thursday 2 August 2012 16:28

Ooooh you funny swedes

SpaceCadet87 0

Thursday 2 August 2012 20:30

Your brother's an idiot and you are a wuss.

Jazzyw1997 12

Friday 3 August 2012 1:02

My it's rant reaction to a creaper hiss is to lundge for the Escape key, I hate having to rebuild

Iamme30069 5

Friday 3 August 2012 16:15

I dont blame creepers are serious buisness

Bacontree 14

Friday 30 November 2012 16:09

You shit your pants over a sound from a videogame and your brother is the idiotic one?

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Gross Customers Work

The Top

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 120

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, my airheaded daughter actually thinks her rich businessman boyfriend, who is a whole 20 years older than her, loves her and only her, and will obviously marry her someday. No matter how badly he mistreats her, she won’t listen to me. Man does she have a major wake up call coming… FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 141

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 252

You deserved it 42 459

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 338

You deserved it 4 131

Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 007

You deserved it 2 370

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 952

You deserved it 900

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 497

You deserved it 13 884

Same thing different taste

Big tasty

Don't mention it

The betrayal

Fun

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