Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting...

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 136

You deserved it 32 035

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Same thing different taste

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 735

You deserved it 2 418

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 493

You deserved it 3 484

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 2 603

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 138

The betrayal

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 4 768

By aroman2312 - 06/09/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 250

You deserved it 2 100

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 7 198

Fun

By :$. - 06/07/2012 21:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 844

You deserved it 7 633

racerapj 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:36

There still was an explosion in your pants.

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:36

You should've pulled out your pickaxe and built a wall around that shit. Creepers are serious business.

Comments

greeneye_fml 12

Wednesday 1 August 2012 3:09

I hate to imagine your reaction to Endermen.

fbluunfnfiyes 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 3:27

I thought my dad was a creeper once !! I freaked out

thehurricanekid 6

Wednesday 1 August 2012 5:27

You got scared shitless by what you thought to be some imaginary thing from a video game. And your brother is the one who's idiotic?

KingPaw 1

Wednesday 1 August 2012 5:58

I love minecraft

kronium 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 6:43

That's a very nice steak you have there... Would be a shame if something were to happen to it.

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 1 August 2012 6:56

thatsssssssssssss a nisssssssssse barbecue you have there misssssssster.

buzza24 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 8:47

Bullshit

PoppaSoda 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 9:03

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd. Get a freaking life.

justiinbieberrxd 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 9:49

only blazes n endermen r scary

GDIZZLE93 11

Wednesday 1 August 2012 12:42

Ya get off the computer and keep playing minecraft on xbox

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

The Top

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 063

You deserved it 6 490

In all seriousness, be safe out there guys!

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 159

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 228

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 247

You deserved it 49 326

Today, four hours before a test, I received an email from my professor saying that the test had been canceled. When I checked my email again before bed, I found another email from my professor saying that his email had been hacked and the test was was still on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 327

You deserved it 3 815

Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 727

You deserved it 6 629

Same thing different taste

Big tasty

Don't mention it

The betrayal

Fun

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