Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting...

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 136

You deserved it 32 035

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Same thing different taste

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 735

You deserved it 2 418

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 493

You deserved it 3 484

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 876

You deserved it 2 603

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 138

The betrayal

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 4 768

By aroman2312 - 06/09/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 250

You deserved it 2 100

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 7 198

Fun

By :$. - 06/07/2012 21:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 844

You deserved it 7 633

racerapj 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:36

There still was an explosion in your pants.

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 2:36

You should've pulled out your pickaxe and built a wall around that shit. Creepers are serious business.

Comments

megzzze 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 6:55

How could he DESERVE it?!? Fyl op. Fyl.

bTOhno 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 7:00

I'm deathly scared of slenderman...

UsernameHere234 13

Tuesday 31 July 2012 7:28

I CAN SWING MY SWORD SWORD, SWING MY DIAMOND SWORD SWORD. YOU CANNOT AFF... oh wait. no.

mossdeep2 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 8:12

So wait, you scream and practically shit when hearing it in-game?

hunteer9 5

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:49

Dude I know what you mean I jump every time I hear a noise that sounds like a creeper and usually curse at the same time.

blubberfish 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:01

I'm going to have to try that out some time myself

Martnikk 15

Tuesday 31 July 2012 12:45

That's what playing too much Minecraft does to you

Devoo 7

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:01

"That's a nice place you got there... LET ME DESTROY IT!"

coolbrony12 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:04

Did you hear rattling bones? Watch out for arrows!

tim240_fml 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:57

Quickly grab your diamond sword and protect your grandma!

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The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 86

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I spent the night at a friend's house after drinking. My phone died and I didn’t charge it. My mom decided I was a missing person, and all of her friends on Facebook decided to post that I was missing. I’m a 27 year-old adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 125

Today, I got a housekeeping warning from my landlord. After struggling with multiple serious health issues, I’ve also been dealing with a horrible case of depression as a result. When I tried to explain this to the manager, she decided to get the county involved and try to have me committed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 204

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 129

Today, my family said that we're all in this together, so I headed over to their house before the stay-at-home orders go into effect. When I arrived, my brother came out to stop me in the driveway to say they were practicing social distancing. From me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 219

Today, I got kicked out of an Uber for "smelling bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 730

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 675

You deserved it 22 921

Same thing different taste

Big tasty

Don't mention it

The betrayal

Fun

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