Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made several beautiful steaks on the grill, then set them to rest. While I left to use the bathroom, my four year-old decided they looked yucky and poured syrup on them. My wife was too busy giggling and recording it to stop her. FML
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML
Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML
Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting from Texas, so I made a brisket, smoked for 10 hours on the barbecue, and it was perfect. Alas, when my husband cut the meat, he burst a perfectly cooked cyst the size of a lemon that stank the whole house out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Innovation is the key to success.
perdix 31
With enough carbon monoxide, everything begins to make sense ... and then you die.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (38)
StoryOfTheYear 15
Innovation is the key to success.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Hey so now I know what to do when I want to grill out on a rainy day bravo gramps.
Keyman1212 14
I say **** it, and eat with Gramps. He's winning in my book. I promise, you should cherish moments like this, because you won't ever get them back.
SilentTreatment 7
Grandpa: "Let's BBQ... MY meat in YOUR grill!"
Gruv3r14 1
-17 You'd get Carbon Monoxide poisoning and die...
kickazz16 15
Dude...steak is steak! BURN BABY BURN :)
NitroTonicsFML 4
I know, OP just needs to shut up and eat some meat.
v4extreme 6
Are aware that burning charcoal inside kills you? It eats up the oxygen in the room and fills the air with carbon monoxide. That's the point of the fml.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Mmm, carbon monoxide steaks....*drools*
Mipz 2
45-don't be a know it all. This is fml. No one cares. (and, duh. I mean really.)
False_Stupidity 42
45, are you aware that burning 'anything' indoors will 'eat up' oxygen? ... For that matter, so does breathing.. Also, it's carbon dioxide, not monoxide(you get that from cars)
kickazz16 15
Sigh. I didn't know guys and sometimes you can use the term 'grilling' to grill on a skillet. I watch too many cooking shows lol :)
Jesus_Christ69 0
No.. It's carbon monoxide.. I have a monoxide detector in my house and I'm not aware of my family ever using the cars in my house... someone needs to go back to grade 10 science.
ceji3 13
... No. Carbon monoxide is released via cars, charcoal, etc. CO2 is released by breathing and volcanoes release CO2 as well. Oxygen wasters like you need to be thrown into outer space where there is no O2 for you to waste...
azcardinals1307 2
bravo, Gramps!
xlil_miss_emo_x 6
Lovely.
PRiMARELYiNSANE 0
delishhh :3 mustve been smokin' hot huh? literally.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Most things involving high heat are.
minisquid 9
^^^ THIS.
r_k_s30 0
Yum, good idea
enonymous 9
Were they overcooked or under seasoned?
EnEl_Infierno 15
Who gives, so where are our steaks Op us fmlers are hungry for some beer can smoked indoor steaks.
enonymous 9
Trying to understand the FML. For all we know his father lives in a hut with an open roof. Might be an overcooked or under seasoned steak which would make any man cry.
EnEl_Infierno 15
It says House, so I think it's safe to assume it either way it would of been really smokey. Hence smoked steaks.
enonymous 9
Where does it say smoked steaks?
EnEl_Infierno 15
It doesn't it supppsed be a joke, hello cooking steaks, indoors on charcoal grill all the smoke its bound to make, hence the smoked steaks. Aw f this now I am really am hungry with steaks here and thinking of the b-day girl making want cake, I'm gona go raid my fridge.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^^ Epic win No?
enonymous 9
22- Bad jokes are bad.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Aww now I feel like I got junked punched in nuts by midget, for having some of fml best burn me.
enonymous 9
Best? No no no... Handsome... Stylishly ingenious? Yes... Snoodleriffic? God I hope so
EnEl_Infierno 15
Snoodleriffic? what the, lol?
ThreeSheetsGone 12
enonymous, I don't know about you, but in my part of the country, snoodleriffic is a term meaning "great and mighty mustache man". Is it just a coincidence, or are you the one chosen to lead us against the tyranny and oppression of the armies of Captain Hare E. Beever?
enonymous 9
http://www.urbandictionary.com/iphone/#define?term=snoodle
StoryOfTheYear 15
31- I'm included in that right? Right? Sans-mustache
enonymous 9
Of course
MYkumquatsOWN 1
That's kinky.
juliushater 12
I`m still trying to figure out where the FML comes into play ?
zinoxity 23
Have you ever smelled burned charcoal? Imagine your house filled with burned charcoal smoke... -.- Also, inhaling it is hazardous. It can kill you.
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
thank u very much captain obvious:P
craZgal321 6
zinoxity- but the smell wouldnt be there for over a week! fml stands for **** my LIFE not **** this week
evanedwards85 6
13, 41, and 36 are stupid
evanedwards85 6
Oh and 36 I guess it wasn't that obvious because 13 didn't get it, did he?
LaydiexSkull 3
36- no one was stating the "obvious", moron.
perdix 31
With enough carbon monoxide, everything begins to make sense ... and then you die.