Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 769

You deserved it 5 496

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Same thing different taste

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 567

You deserved it 3 987

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 105

You deserved it 4 706

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - France

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 4 087

By Noah - 16/08/2016 18:43 - United States - South Haven

Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 728

You deserved it 2 903

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 855

You deserved it 55 499

By ShakenNotStirred - 11/11/2013 08:18 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 180

You deserved it 2 495

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 635

You deserved it 13 125

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 975

You deserved it 3 769

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 22 858

By darn it. - 20/02/2009 16:16 - United States

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 042

You deserved it 4 156

Next

Top comments

JustinKirby 20

Tuesday 27 May 2014 23:14

Don't you just adore drunk people?

awilso13 8

Tuesday 27 May 2014 23:14

Wow, that's definitely a blow to the ego... I would've cried lol.

Comments

dayavera 9

Wednesday 28 May 2014 3:45

you don't need others to feel beautiful, specifically drunk people!!

vikky538 28

Wednesday 28 May 2014 4:34

rule 1:never mind what a drunkard says...

Pasha28 8

Wednesday 28 May 2014 4:50

ego lvl under 9000

baberoothless 8

Wednesday 28 May 2014 4:57

If think you were ugly too if I couldn't see straight

shortnsweet00 14

Wednesday 28 May 2014 4:58

Oh drunks. They just brighten up this world don't they? Just ignore it OP.

tasinatee 2

Wednesday 28 May 2014 5:14

What were you doing at a bar before 12:26 pm?

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 28 May 2014 5:35

It's ok. They invented doggy-style and reverse cowgirl for a reason.

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 28 May 2014 5:38

"I have heels bigger than your dick." "Yeah, that's ok. I have workboots cleaner than your ******." Now those are some good comebacks.

alicat13 12

Wednesday 28 May 2014 6:08

Well you wanted to go to a bar.

starcaller17 16

Wednesday 28 May 2014 6:37

Why assume she shouldn't care what the guy thinks, if it's a hot guy say, "I've got some tools back at my place that might fix those beer goggles". With a little ;) as you walk away.

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The Top

Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home, my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 318

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 967

The Top

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 415

You deserved it 2 878

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 801

You deserved it 7 291

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 267

You deserved it 4 660

Today, I have Covid and am stuck in isolation with my sister. I have been staying in my room to avoid spreading it, but my sister just yelled at me because I "looked at a bird outside" and might have "given the bird Covid from the mucus in my eyes." She picked this theory up from a stranger on Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 111

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 333

You deserved it 63 353

Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 203