Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
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Top comments
Ambient25 25
I hope you didn't have your mouth open
gc327072 31
Damn, it's only Wednesday and you're already getting shitfaced? I wanna party with you, OP!
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Comments (76)
jarrettd 27
Right 9 i always expect a face full of bird shit whenever i walk out of the house. That's why i wear a full riot armor. Just in case
Infamous_Tora 12
There is a reply button..
jamiejones10 8
They say it's good luck tho so look at the bright side :p
okisbo 12
Hey the same thing happened to my brother at the zoo, except it went straight into his mouth.
False_Stupidity 42
We're you perhaps near the eye full tower?... Oh wait, USA, never mind.
eternal_malaise 10
One bet the other on a face hit.
mellerlite 1
I'm gonna be that jerk. Faceful is not a word.
its2lu 11
It's good luck!
SDee91 6
How in the hell is that good luck?
apu_nahasapeemap 10
I've been crapped on at least twice by birds (luckily "only" on the shoulder). I'm almost certain that birds wait for someone to walk under them before letting the shit fly. Which is why I always look up *before* walking under a branch or wire, to make sure there are no birds waiting to bomb me.
buckdharma 38
His comedic timing was impeccable.
nightrode 2
*flock