Miscellaneous: Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike....

By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 967

You deserved it 2 663

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 14:13 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 439

You deserved it 31 019

Inappropriate laughter

By josie345 - 25/08/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 157

You deserved it 27 306

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 09:19

Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 1 228

By anonymous - 06/06/2013 04:14 - United States - Tehachapi

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 824

You deserved it 6 526

By MattVh - 12/01/2010 17:23 - Belgium

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 933

You deserved it 2 461

BIKES!

By cwell88 - 21/06/2015 13:29

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 1 776

By Potato_Lord - 12/11/2015 04:11 - United States - Madison

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 775

You deserved it 1 469

By BikerBuddy - 14/05/2010 01:11 - France

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 780

You deserved it 46 300

By limecat - 06/10/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 305

You deserved it 36 999

By Anonymous - 04/09/2009 23:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 230

You deserved it 2 471

FMLpuppy 3

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:06

Next time throw your closed fist at his face.

anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 8

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:20

It wouldn't have hurt though, it's a soft drink :)

Comments

anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 8

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:20

It wouldn't have hurt though, it's a soft drink :)

berichsoon 11

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:20

Bike inspector! That sounds cool. I wonder if you have to go to school for that?

token_blackguy 18

Thursday 28 February 2013 21:37

I think you need a 9 month certification course.

kxxjoejoexxk 8

Friday 1 March 2013 1:58

I heard you could get a bachelors in bike safety

CrazyChickens721 5

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:20

You have to admit that it was a pretty good save on his part!!

jimbob_76592 5

Thursday 28 February 2013 14:48

Yea that's pretty quick thinking and it came out pretty damn funny

AssTard 15

Friday 1 March 2013 2:06

What would have made this funnier (on our part) would be if OP actually believed him.

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:20

Being covered in soda is better than having your bike stolen. Think of it as a weird victory!

Harpy20 24

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:22

Was he black? [Disclaimer: It's not racist for me to ask...being black and all.]

untouchable763 10

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:35

At least you still have your bike eh.

AssTard 15

Friday 1 March 2013 2:07

19- Yeah, I'm glad that hoser didn't steal his bike, eh.

RedstoneEditor 3

Monday 4 March 2013 7:10

Canadian, nice

evig_fml 16

Thursday 28 February 2013 9:40

Not gonna lie, I was hoping this first comment was going to be some type of witty pun, thanks for dropping the ball on my hopes and dreams though...

rahavan 15

Thursday 28 February 2013 10:18

I'm disgusted with 2 comment. Does that help 21?

rahavan 15

Thursday 28 February 2013 10:20

Oh god damn I misread 2's name and can't delete or edit my comment >.> THANKS IPOD.

Satoaoi 13

Thursday 28 February 2013 10:25

lol what a moron

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I agree, your life sucks 11 797

You deserved it 118 548

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You deserved it 319

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I agree, your life sucks 41 058

You deserved it 3 875

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I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 5 395

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I agree, your life sucks 49 549

You deserved it 24 197

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I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 2 089

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I agree, your life sucks 64 995

You deserved it 14 239

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I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 157

Same thing different taste

Inappropriate laughter

BIKES!

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