Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking...

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 2 820

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Same thing different taste

By ww2freak - 14/06/2012 01:17 - United States - Centreville

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 945

You deserved it 27 342

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 049

You deserved it 4 406

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 613

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 04:59 - Canada

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 388

You deserved it 2 726

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 278

You deserved it 5 626

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 866

You deserved it 6 295

By KP - 25/06/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 112

You deserved it 3 095

By BathroomMuch - 25/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 866

You deserved it 7 728

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 2 540

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 156

EwanSmith 2

Monday 12 December 2011 11:51

could have been worse, he could of been emptying his sack.

DDpandaz 0

Monday 12 December 2011 11:56

Merry Shitmas OP

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 12 December 2011 14:42

Challenge him to a fart war and that if you win he owes you double gifts.

sjhill 32

Monday 12 December 2011 14:57

Better out than in! And at least it wasn't in front of the kids. Merry Christmas!

linkinpark98 23

Monday 12 December 2011 14:58

Oh well..... Merry Christmas OP! :) Make sure you dont ask for anything related to chocolate....

EmperorHilo 11

Monday 12 December 2011 14:59

That's just too funny.

DankTurtle 0

Monday 12 December 2011 15:06

Merry christmas OP

lmaoatall 6

Monday 12 December 2011 15:10

Was he singing Jingle smells Jingle smells Jingle all the (grunts and pushes) waayyyy!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 12 December 2011 15:48

Jingle bells, Santa smells. I just layed an elf?

perdix 29

Monday 12 December 2011 15:19

Looks like Santa wants a blumpkin! That'd make him a jolly, old elf!

Gigaboo 0

Monday 12 December 2011 15:51

look in the toilet....he left u a present

happykesh 3

Monday 12 December 2011 16:12

Ho ho ho, merrrryy shitmas.

DynamicDave 11

Monday 12 December 2011 16:15

I was waiting for a "shitty situation" pun... Half of me is happy I didn't find one, and half of me is disappointed that there is one less certainty in life.

Keywords

Jealousy Love Dreams Geek Video games Gamers Parents Kids Family AITA Relatable Gun control Animals Amazon Money Annoying Cute Birthday Health Weird Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams Friends Mysterious Miscellaneous School Education Teenagers

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 5 027

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 502

You deserved it 5 169

Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 2 987

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 543

You deserved it 4 629

Today, my boyfriend found out that he has kidney failure. He was feeling sick for a few weeks and I had told him to drink lots of fluids and eat vegetables. Apparently that is really bad for kidney patients. I was killing him with water and spinach salads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 11 271

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said, "You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 633

You deserved it 5 618

Today, as usual, my period cramps got go bad that I can't eat or drink without taking a pain killer, and end up puking and passing out if I take a pain killer before I eat. Here's to 30 smooth years yet to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 120

Same thing different taste

Spooky season has begun

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