Intimacy and Health: Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2018 06:00

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind the bedroom door to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. I slipped and broke two ribs when I hit the ground. Instead of a sexy birthday evening, he got to take me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 478

You deserved it 1 427

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By epicfail - 28/05/2011 06:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 585

You deserved it 37 392

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 4 259

That escalated quickly

By marrying this man - 10/10/2023 07:30

Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 260

By sandysmith - 18/02/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 611

You deserved it 34 044

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 588

You deserved it 4 396

Compromising position

By Hjeimoe - 09/03/2022 12:00

Today, I’m in the hospital with a broken leg and a bruised left backside, because my boyfriend’s wife came home earlier than expected from work and my only escape was from the second story window. Turns out, plastic trash cans are not very cushion-y. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 4 130

By Yes - 24/11/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 467

You deserved it 3 375

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 468

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 2 223

It's all deregulation's fault

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 22:00

Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 104

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:35

There are sexy nurses to look at at the hospital, so it wasn’t a total loss for your boyfriend.

TheUnforgiven 8

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:55

You gave him a great story to tell. That's a good gift :D

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:35

There are sexy nurses to look at at the hospital, so it wasn’t a total loss for your boyfriend.

TheUnforgiven 8

Sunday 6 May 2018 6:55

You gave him a great story to tell. That's a good gift :D

XxXBadAshXxX 27

Sunday 6 May 2018 7:55

That clutz life though

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 6 May 2018 12:04

At least it wasn't an ordinary evening.

MannyWasHere 12

Sunday 6 May 2018 12:18

Just get it on in the hospital #BestBirthdayEver

ARISKomuniszt 24

Sunday 6 May 2018 13:59

I'm sure he'll be happy with your efforts and intentions nonetheless...

Mungolikecandy 19

Sunday 6 May 2018 15:52

The twist in the tale; they are 27 years old!

julfunky 29

Sunday 6 May 2018 18:13

How is this a twist?

Mungolikecandy 19

Sunday 6 May 2018 15:55

Darn wrong FML. FML.

julfunky 29

Sunday 6 May 2018 18:14

Ah, nevermind. I see.

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Ironic Social Media Cheating Sex Awkward Insects Animals Health Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 74 239

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 313

The Top

Today, while swimming in the ocean, I felt some sand under my wedding ring. I took it off for a second, and got hit by a huge wave. My ring is now lost somewhere in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 652

You deserved it 43 314

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 178

You deserved it 40 970

Today, I’m a big fan of healthy supplements, but those algae pills I bought were a definite waste of money. Why? Because they came out of me looking the exact same way they went in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 400

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 030

You deserved it 95 720

Today, I was crossing back over the Mexico-US border. My mother-in-law got out of the car to go to the bathroom, since traffic was horrible. Two hours of worrying sick later, turns out she crossed the border without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 304

You deserved it 802

Today, a deer hit my car. I stopped to check on it, expecting it to be dead in the road or a ditch. The fucker was staring at me from the top of the hill and pranced off just fine. I get $800 in front-end damage and I'm still finding hair and fecal matter on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 040

You deserved it 726