Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML
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Top comments
besad_fml 0
Wow. You are stupid. How did you break 3 bottles? YDI
xCrackerx 3
If you're this clumsy sober, I'd hate to see you when you're drunk.
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Comments (41)
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, you suck. YDI
COBRAMORPH 0
She was probly a bitchy ***** anyway.
aliaysleighbasic 0
you sound like a likeable douchebag. but still a douchebag... you see, if you had taken the upper hand and seen the opportunity that your clumsiness afforded you- you would have had at least flattery on yer side. but you don't. no confidence gets you nowhere. flattery would have atleast have been charming in the least- if you managed not to come off as a scumbag.
trizzieb 0
I would have put your life sucks but it seems wrong since the number is 666. I wouldn't want to be the one who ruins that.
k43L1 0
better luck next time
donner1423 0
"Inquiring"? It's no wonder.
fbp6277 0
So? You were single and unemployed when you walked in. You didn't lose anything. Except maybe a few dollars if you had to pay for what you broke. Quit bitching.
DynamicDave 11
This belongs on MLIA
Icy_fml 0
ouch dude. keep trying.
huskycheer2015 0
Really? Poor you... haha yeah right who gives a damn?