Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, I walked into a job interview, then turned round and walked back out again. The interviewer was a one-night stand that ended very badly months ago, and she remembered me. I could see in her face the interview was pointless, so instead of grovelling I went to the pub to drown my sorrows. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML
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Top comments
besad_fml 0
Wow. You are stupid. How did you break 3 bottles? YDI
xCrackerx 3
If you're this clumsy sober, I'd hate to see you when you're drunk.
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Comments (41)
themindflayer 0
haha ... now thats what i call style!
xxcrazybestiexx 0
That sucks. Plus ur more broke than u were before. Lost out on money. I bet u didn't even get to drink. Bad luck,much?
Ninjaface 0
That's when you ask her for a straw on the grounds that since you probably have to pay for the broken bottles anyways, you might as well drink them now. Then, partway through, you ask her for her help finishing it. Three broken bottles of booze later, and the two of you would have been stumbling into the supply closet for your "payment."
lmaoatyourlife 0
I think if you had of worded it differently i would of felt a tiny bit sorry for you, but you just sound arrogant and cocky.
Shegs 0
so you thought about something and didn't do it. And then broke a bottle then you thought about something else amd didn't do it. yes surely your life is now over. how can you love?
Yooh_Plus_Meh 0
It's someone else fault that you broke the bottles and didn't ask for a job or a date? YDI
thebamf 0
Is inquire your word of the day or something?
sarcdude 3
Heh heh, one embarrassing moment and you back down OP? Dust yourself off.
your_face 15
If you were the store manager, and someone broke three bottles of your liquor just before asking for a job application, how would you respond? Though OP can probably come back in a day or two, and they most likely won't remember/recognize him.
mcwildcat8230 0
Yea this really isnt really an FML but someone should make a website called I suck at life and it could be one there because you suck at life
the_gay_van 0
What the hell man. The situation couldn't really have gotten any worse, right? You totally should've swallowed your pride and hit that. You never know, some girls are into that kind of stuff. Guys that... Swallow. *wink wink*