Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I had a quarter in my pocket. I found no change in my pocket once I got to the register, so I pulled out my credit card. The cashier laughed a few seconds later when my card was declined for a piece of gum. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML
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Top comments
NoNotTheFace 8
At least you didn't make fun of him badly. It's not like you would know, right? "God must love you. He gave you a third ball."
ThatLooksSticky 16
Well...he probably has mouth cancer because of all the dip he's um, chewed? Sucked? Whatever you do with dip.
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Comments (180)
minamail25 7
That's what happens when you chew dip!!!!!!
TraceCase_ 19
You're as bad as the OP with that assumption! You can get oral cancer from smoking, alcohol, the sun, HPV, ect...
ramboman19 8
So? 24 was just speaking for Dip.
stilettex33 5
It's still rude to have said anything.
sunnymadhouse 7
Your icon is TERRIFYING D:
Enslaved 38
You didn't know. Why wouldn't he have gotten that removed? It's scary how many different types of cancer is out there. ***I have to say, I am a tad bit curious if him doing dip is the reason he got it though.
Wheredidgrungego 12
I was wondering the same. It's possible that smoking, dipping, etc. was what caused him to get mouth cancer, but I don't want to jump to conclusions because cancer is never really a definite thing (eg. breast cancer, prostate cancer).
Enslaved 38
I remember you once saying your mom was fighting breast cancer.... Mine is too.): I hope your mom is doing better than mine. Funny thing is, my mom is a health freak and still ended up with cancer. I guess something are in the genes but still think some things can be prevented.(:
marpay 11
If he works at a gas station it's highly possible that he doesn't have insurance or it's the really crappy kind that refused to pay out anymore money to him. Hopefully if that's the case he will find out that there is government insurance for people who have major diseases.
hannahcorrine 0
If you knew then it'd be a ydi...but seeing as you didn't expect it, FYL
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, anytime I see a lump of some sort I always associate cancer to it. Therefore, I just leave it alone, period.
hannahcorrine 0
If you knew then it'd be a ydi...but seeing as you didn't expect it, FYL
dd809 9
Bv V
boredblonde 17
Poor guy:(
SookyTurner 4
Sucks to be you
jlh2283 1
Well he probably got mouth cancer from using dip so now he has a mirror image of a reminder of that. I don't feel bad for him and you shouldn't either!
KennyMcCrmick322 0
Well wat if he didn't get it from that, not everyone gets mouth cancer from that. Sure op shouldn't beat himself up for it but u can just assume this guy got a horrible ceases that takes the lives of many from that! That just plain ignorant!!
jlh2283 1
It's not common just just get mouth cancer with some form of tobacco... I don't want anyone feeling bad for me if I get lung cancer if I smoked by choice... Just like drug users that get all kind of medical problems from poisoning their bodies (e.g. My aunt) I don't feel bad for her because she did it to herself no one else has those problems in my family and never had so oops her bad!
E_ve 9
Wow, you are a Bitch. Not every form of mouth/lung cancer is caused by smoking. My dad died of lung cancer and he never touched a cig in his life. It was asbestos that ultimately killed him. Get your facts straight before saying shit like that. Would you say "Well, shouldn't have worn that short skirt" after being raped? Or "Aw hell, shouldn't have been behind the wheel" after being in a car-accident? Nobody deserves to have terrible things happen to them, nor do people deserve having idiots like yourself say it's their own damn fault.
KennyMcCrmick322 0
Dude I hate when that happens. U should've kept that one 2 urself, but it's not lik u knew THAT was gonna hap! U picked the wrong joke at the wrong time bro
kittykat1497 7
*You **to ***yourself ****like *****you ******happen *******You
KennyMcCrmick322 0
I didn't mean I went up to a guy and said that I meant wen u say something like that to someone... Example: when u see someone with A bad haircut and u say to the guy next to u "damn, I'd hate to have his barber" and it turns out he was the barber....... I think something like that's happened to most of us atleast one