Miscellaneous: Today, I showed my grandma my new septum piercing. Her only response...

By kmtau - 09/11/2016 21:38 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I showed my grandma my new septum piercing. Her only response was, "I hope it gets infected and your nose falls off." FML

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kmtau tells us more.

kmtau 14

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Tuesday 15 November 2016 0:20

OP here. First of all, I'd like to let everyone know that I don't give a rat's ass about your opinion of septum piercings. That being said, I knew my grandma would not be happy about it but I did it anyway because I've wanted one for a long time. She did apologize shortly after saying this, and now she's gotten used to it! Yesterday when we were at a restaurant she reached over to fix it because it was crooked and has even shown me cute jewelry for it that she found online :)

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Broken heart

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 16:53 - United Kingdom

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

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By Frouse - 28/09/2018 22:02

Today, I was on the worst blind date ever, so I tried to secretly request an Uber to get out of there. My date then picked up his phone, receiving my request. Turns out he's an Uber driver and he was looking for a reason to get out of the date too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 960

You deserved it 785

By :( - 19/03/2013 20:12 - United States - Hilton Head Island

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

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You deserved it 4 024

You never know

By Mezzlegasm - 10/07/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 065

You deserved it 51 172

By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 5 401

By WeakerThanaLittleGirl - 05/02/2013 01:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 461

You deserved it 7 466

By Baldy - 03/04/2011 09:16 - New Zealand

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 4 751

By Morganisoverrated - 22/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2012 10:35 - Philippines

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 285

You deserved it 6 578

By Werner - 02/03/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 637

You deserved it 67 377

By Melinie - 24/06/2012 03:23 - United States

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 551

You deserved it 1 892

By Anonymous - 28/06/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 06:45 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 632

You deserved it 1 797

By queenofdeath - 16/01/2010 18:16 - Israel

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

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You deserved it 12 311

By SlowPacker - 09/03/2016 07:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my family informed me that we were going on a 10 hour road trip to my cousin's wedding. They only decided to tell me 45 minutes before we left for said road trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 706

You deserved it 1 448

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 03:08 - Singapore

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thinks that I am my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a 'prostitute' each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 021

You deserved it 5 407

By grossed out - 25/03/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 569

You deserved it 7 472

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 08:07 - Australia - Boronia

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

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You deserved it 4 312

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

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You deserved it 7 452

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 12:36 - Netherlands

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

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You deserved it 27 738

By Pooperscooper - 20/07/2009 18:45 - France

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 590

You deserved it 6 853

By blahppl14 - 27/12/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

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You deserved it 13 494

By Trouble - 11/04/2017 18:00

Today, at work, I was informed that my manager told the owner, "Everything wrong with my department" is me. FML

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You deserved it 426

Goodbye, 7 years of sobriety...

By Mash-brakketz - 25/10/2017 22:26

Today a gasoline canister leaked in our work garage and filled my office with fumes. It got me high and nauseous even though I went out for air constantly. I had a meltdown and was sent home. I'm still high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 264

You deserved it 266

By SimpleSimon - 01/07/2009 00:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 181

You deserved it 19 650

By twiggy24 - 05/02/2012 02:51 - United States

Today, I learned that my "cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 241

You deserved it 42 415

Great customer service, thanks!

By Eli Maldonado - 29/05/2021 17:01

Today, I called customer service for my phone. We talked for a while and the man was very nice to me. Too nice. Right before hanging up, he said, “Have a good day ma’am!” He was flirting the whole time and I didn’t realize it, and he didn’t that I’m a guy. FML

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You deserved it 132

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 441

You deserved it 59 285

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 19:00

Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 362

You deserved it 291

By Unsuspecting - 16/04/2016 12:23 - United States

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 473

You deserved it 1 720

By Anonymous - 16/07/2018 19:00

Today, I told my unemployed boyfriend to pick a town anywhere in the country that he thinks he can find work in. I offered to find myself a job there, find a flat, and pay for rent, bills, and food while he looks. He said I was selfish for wanting him to hurry up. It's been three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 186

You deserved it 1 233

By Username - 13/11/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

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You deserved it 7 584

Graded

By HDcashier - 24/04/2020 17:00

Today, while cashiering, I rang out a father and his son who looked about eight years-old. The dad jokingly told his son that I was a 10/10 in looks. The son then looked at me for a few seconds and said, "No, probably more like a seven." Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 427

You deserved it 2 889

By fuckMYlife94321 - 26/04/2009 16:21 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 787

You deserved it 13 736

By Anonymous - 13/11/2018 13:30

Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 829

You deserved it 635

Can't win

By yup0308 - 30/04/2021 23:01 - United States - Byron Center

Today, and for almost 6 years, my wife and I have had issues fighting when we’re drunk. I’ve always gotten/accepted the blame. I quit drinking to try and better our marriage. Now she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 101

By itsrathersmall - 15/01/2013 21:58 - United States - Fargo

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 997

You deserved it 7 685

By atmac95 - 27/02/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 888

You deserved it 7 620

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 913

You deserved it 2 683

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Top comments

JETarchitect 32

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:03

sorry OP but this made me laugh however what were you expecting your grandma to say?

zinoxity 23

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:07

Sorry, OP. Your grandma went overboard and shouldn't have said that, but I can see where she's coming from. In all honesty, I personally think septum piercings look very trashy, as well as the meaning behind them don't help. But if it makes you happy, then I'm happy for you and you should do whatever you want without caring what anyone else says. Good luck, OP!

JETarchitect 32

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:03

sorry OP but this made me laugh however what were you expecting your grandma to say?

TheEpicKitten 20

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:04

Maybe she really likes Voldemort cosplay?

elk17 7

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

DoomedGemini 37

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Monday 14 November 2016 10:51

Because some people personally like how they look. Why do people get any piercing or tattoo?

sweetpotato301 7

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Monday 14 November 2016 12:00

It's almost as if people have different tastes and opinions!

LeAnnaWinona 4

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Monday 14 November 2016 21:51

wait... people are allowed to do that, #12?

awesomeamandas 37

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Monday 14 November 2016 22:01

as others have stated, the people who get piercings or tattoos or any kind of body modification arent doing it to look cool to you, they aren't undergoing the pain of that for other people. they do it because they want to, because they like it. why do people wear blue sweaters? I don't think they look cool, just makes you look like a walking tear drop tbh. if you don't like them don't get one done.

Bearsmomma 30

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Tuesday 15 November 2016 0:02

Apologies for the unintentional down vote.

StormfrontX33_fml 24

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:04

Grandma thinks she nose best, but just because someone is older, doesn't make them right.

zinoxity 23

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:07

Rei_Ayanami 18

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Monday 14 November 2016 10:43

I did not realize they had a meaning. Would you explain it to me, if it is not an inconvenience? Thank you in advance.

ThrottleJockey 34

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Monday 14 November 2016 15:14

#9, one word: slavery.

tmj25789 23

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Monday 14 November 2016 17:10

I agree with what you said. Older adults look at piercings and tattoos differently. Some may accept and others do not. If I were you OP, I would just take it out when you go to visit her from now on.

jocamo 24

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Monday 14 November 2016 21:32

screw taking it out. I got my tongue pierced years ago and a month after I went to my grandmother's. I just happened to have a nasty cold sore after fighting off a nasty cold (I'd gotten the virus as a child). She thought that I'd gotten the cold sore because of the piercing. I explained that it didn't hurt enough for the stress to cause an outbreak, to Wichita she replied that she meant that I'd caught the virus from the parlor (because they do dirty you know). 15 yrs later I still have the peircing and now also have my nose pierced (nostril not septum). They'll get used to it or just ignore them. sorry for the long post

MikaykayUnicorn 36

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Monday 14 November 2016 22:22

18 a one word answer is not sufficient enough here. "Slavery" doesn't tell me enough. Did they pierce their nose and drag them by it? Did they pierce their nose to mark them as slaves? Did they pierce their nose as torture? What the hell does it have to do with slavery?

claudiajean 24

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Tuesday 15 November 2016 1:21

Septum piercing were used on slaves in SOME cultures but that is not the entirely symbolism behind it at all. You can look at it being to do with bulls and solidarity, or tribal heritage or due to the hardcore scene even. Or you can think it looks nice (like I do, which is why I have mine pierced) It's people's bodies, let her do what they want

sillymama 21

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:09

Lol. When I pierced my belly button, my grandma told me that I'd catch it on belt and my guys would fall out. I expected nothing less from her either.

J352SAURUS 30

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Monday 14 November 2016 11:35

If you're holding those guys hostage, you should probably let them go.

lexiieeex3 32

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Monday 14 November 2016 9:39

Southern hospitality at its finest.

MidnaLink 33

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Monday 14 November 2016 12:14

It's one thing to hate it and say "remove it", but that puts the icing on the bitch cake!

Rabite 28

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Monday 14 November 2016 13:26

When I got my first piercing (labret) my mom just told me that she is looking forward to the time when I stop liking it myself. I think that's a nice yet clear comment.