Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took...

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 476

You deserved it 5 229

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Same thing different taste

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 002

You deserved it 3 495

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 600

You deserved it 88 941

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 934

You deserved it 256

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 691

You deserved it 38 985

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 637

You deserved it 13 127

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 365

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 424

You deserved it 13 435

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 294

You deserved it 5 011

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 7 439

CyclonePsycho 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:37

At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D

lukewarmocha 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:33

naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.

Comments

CitizenSnipz 0

Monday 14 December 2009 15:18

Did she try to claw you? Was she fumbling around lifelessly? If so, she wasn't drunk. Escape civilization NOW! SAVE US ALL!

tomFTW 0

Monday 11 January 2010 21:32

well that'll be a story to tell when you're older!

dreadwing0 0

Monday 2 August 2010 11:02

wow, zombie apocalypse already? I was hoping for another peaceful year, haha.

hasards 8

Tuesday 19 April 2011 23:44

DOOOOOODGE!!!!!!! Seriously, though, if you're in any sort of scuffle, even if you are focused primarily on dodging, do not get cocky.

radiocaf 29

Friday 16 September 2011 19:18

Kick her to the kerb. Or even let her drive and alert the cops.

Superllama12 11

Sunday 30 October 2011 17:15

Wow, that's really terrible! But good for you, you really stepped up and could possibly save her life and many others, not many people would do that!

Z_Morios_Z 7

Sunday 30 October 2011 19:10

vaaammmmpppiiiirrrreeeee lol :p

lsd_25 8

Monday 31 October 2011 0:30

hey u did the right thing no shame in that

oregonman21 0

Tuesday 7 February 2012 6:27

Chicks dig the scars man!!! ;)

Honda288 2

Friday 10 February 2012 4:47

Give her keys back and tell her to go find something non-living to wrap her car around.

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The Top

Today, my lawnmower found the dart that my kids lost from my dartboard set last week. It found it as my husband was mowing the grass and flung it at about 60 miles an hour point first into my kneecap. It won’t come out, so I’m sat in an overcrowded ER on a Friday night with a 3 hour wait time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 64

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

The Top

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me. Two weeks ago she complained that I didn't act like I really loved her. I then became more involved and caring just for her to show my love. The reason she broke up with me? Because I was "suffocating her with clinginess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 813

You deserved it 4 668

Today, after living for a while with my husband and our cat, I'm still not sure which of the two leaves the most hairs strewn around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 354

You deserved it 1 845

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 332

You deserved it 8 927

Today, I was talking to my dad about how I don’t think I love my fiancé anymore. He sat me down and gave me a severe talking to that amounted to, “We’re a respectable religious family, he’ll be a good husband, you’ll make babies and grow old together. You don’t need to love him to do that.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 174

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 530

You deserved it 46 602

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 373

Same thing different taste

Romantic move

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