Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML
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Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
well, your dog illustrated his point to your pastor... But out of curiosity, why did you need to have your dog stand in front of the church to prove the point of a sermon? Image?
elephantsarecute 16
It would be even funnier if the sermon was about chastity.
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Comments (40)
martin8337 36
Giggity:-)
Pinup_doll94 4
Looks like your dog doesn't have your religious morals. At least he didn't pee on him.
an3ph 20
Good dog! Good dog!
ingram450 3
don't bring your dog to church
Ibuki 15
I think that dogs do that to show dominance.
TimmyKenmuir 1
your dog has got something for the pastor!
EastCoastElite 4
Ohh the irony... lol
josh_man96 4
well, your dog made the sermon stick in their minds!