Animals: Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of...

By sillydoggy - 09/09/2013 01:42 - United States

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 195

You deserved it 9 681

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Same thing different taste

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Kelsiiii - 11/03/2020 03:00

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 2 090

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

Beast Mode

By Vee - 24/09/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 433

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 865

You deserved it 10 779

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 377

By MoreActionThanMe - 11/12/2012 00:04 - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 929

You deserved it 2 818

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 2 484

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 090

You deserved it 84 181

First impressions

By I think its dead - 15/01/2013 07:33 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 954

You deserved it 41 442

flashback.miss 28

Monday 9 September 2013 9:17

well, your dog illustrated his point to your pastor... But out of curiosity, why did you need to have your dog stand in front of the church to prove the point of a sermon? Image?

elephantsarecute 16

Monday 9 September 2013 9:20

It would be even funnier if the sermon was about chastity.

Comments

Tim2415 16

Monday 9 September 2013 9:32

Wow. All dogs go to heaven, so why not... Ha!

Dre27 20

Monday 9 September 2013 9:34

Time to go to the V-E-T and get neutered

blurose 6

Monday 9 September 2013 9:43

Male dogs still hump after being neutered.

MorsFalce 12

Tuesday 10 September 2013 5:58

Some times dogs will just mount, to show dominance over the other.

ibmike22 13

Monday 9 September 2013 9:43

Holy crap! That's dog-gone crazy!

GEFStryker 29

Monday 9 September 2013 9:44

Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood -- Revelations 22:15 Bad idea, it would seem.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Monday 9 September 2013 9:48

I'm not sure what sermon a dog standing on front of a church is suppose to illustrate, but your dog certainly illustrated something to the pastor.

rt156 16

Monday 9 September 2013 9:50

I've never laughed so hard while reading a FML. Dogs can be really unpredictible sometimes.

TylerBurden 21

Monday 9 September 2013 10:06

Pls don't vote "I agree, your life sucks" anymore. It has 666 votes. Stop it. m/

monnanon 13

Monday 9 September 2013 10:21

you must have a pretty liberal church if you can bring in a dog. obviously the dog was not happy being made to play along in a religion that doesnt recogonise him as anything but a second class citizen and protested the only way he knew how. either that or he is just a dog acting like a dog and i have uneccessarily anthropomorphized him.