Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML
Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML
Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML
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Top comments
ifuckingrock 0
Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.
WhyComplain 0
This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!
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Comments (97)
AppleOnaStick 0
Yeah thats not that bad, she said keep talking, so she probably enjoyed it, and people have to pee every now and then
partyboy9013 0
maybe she was just saying she had to pee but was really masturbating... that is definitely not a FML....
amazingkate 0
when you gotta go, you gotta go. at least she wasn't bit in half by a t-rex.
derschadenfreude 5
81, WIN. this will be my response to all fmls like these from now on. OP, you should be happy that she feels comfortable enough telling you that she's going off to pee, it's a huge deal for girls. She wanted to tell you why she wouldn't be responding for the next few minutes so your feelings weren't hurt, and told you to keep going because she liked what you were saying. this belongs over on mylifeisg.
HyperExecuter 0
that's hot
danyfuckinheatle 0
not an fml
Winter247 2
rescueme, your hot.
ohaiii 0
lol I'd laugh.
camlz 0
when girls r horny they hav 2 piss so idk y ur mad......
iluvmybf211 0
You never tell a girl you like she's hot. Tell her she's beautiful.
strawberryspacejam 11
when i set my friend up with a hot girl , he only liked her for her looks. superficiality at its prime