Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
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Top comments
smarsh7979 13
That's kinda concerning that she reacted so severely to being tapped on the shoulder. Maybe she was physically abused in a past relationship? Honestly this is more of a f her life than f your life
manofmerr 27
Either she has a nervous disorder, or you are a really scary dude. Im assuming the former, in which case you couldn't have known, so not your fault. If it's the latter...well, ydi, and you should probably stear clear of small children.
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Comments (35)
manofmerr 27
Either she has a nervous disorder, or you are a really scary dude. Im assuming the former, in which case you couldn't have known, so not your fault. If it's the latter...well, ydi, and you should probably stear clear of small children.
smarsh7979 13
That's kinda concerning that she reacted so severely to being tapped on the shoulder. Maybe she was physically abused in a past relationship? Honestly this is more of a f her life than f your life
Shaeleigh Heather Smith 12
Aw man, F her life
dope_mcfly 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for being a creeper. Who in the universe taps a crush on their shoulder as an introduction? Normal people use words, as not to potentially upset someone with unprivileged contact. I hope you learned your lesson.
MissEmma_fml 22
I'd say it's fairly common to tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention. It's not his fault she's that nervous. Your comment is unnecessarily harsh
VonBlitzkrieg 27
you're the worst
Cynical_1 26
Wow...you literally scared the piss out of her! Way to go dude. Usually when someone is sitting off on their own it's because they want to be alone. Next time try announcing yourself instead of basically sneaking up on them and touching them. Fail her life and YDI for being a creep.
Nnzyb 8
Hey, wait... Afterward, did you insist several times how nice a guy you were and then walk away muttering how nice guys always finish last?
Cali 54
I see what you did there...
Johnathan Kirksey 5
No lol should have
AzrielB 8
Maybe if you tried to be the kind of guy who "approaches" people instead of "making a move on" and use your words you'd get a more positive response.
Stiggy626 25
troll: ydi for making it seem that you have a crush on more than one person! ! ! !
Stiggy626 25
but it's spelled "flinched" btw
jebron 13
I looked up flench and apparently it's when someone clenches before passing wind. Maybe this adds another layer to the story...
Johnathan Kirksey 5
S/o to this guy!
Burle 17
YDI because of your username