Love: Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 5 899

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Same thing different taste

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 887

You deserved it 1 151

By gummy bear - 21/01/2011 11:41

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 522

You deserved it 30 912

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 350

You deserved it 1 519

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 221

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 739

You deserved it 2 882

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 67 415

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 6 582

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 2 008

By Charly - 05/01/2009 06:16 - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 179

You deserved it 3 378

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 121

ifuckingrock 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:31

Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.

WhyComplain 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:30

This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!

Comments

toomanycats 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 14:04

MLIA!

Synnie 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 14:17

Well, if something's gonna come out of your woman when you try to romance her, let it be pee.

plexico 3

Tuesday 29 September 2009 14:31

We got another squirter over here! Your girlfriend is saying "pee" so she doesn't freak you out with her female ejaculation. Not many guys can make girls come just using text, but it can be done. Way to go, sport!

palleas_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 15:13

lol, you're just crazy ^^

plexico 3

Tuesday 29 September 2009 17:17

I'm not crazy. I'm just dirty.

MagicMeds 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 15:09

We need a who cares button...

kukopia 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:22

AKA the infamous 'Meh' button. If enough people request it, FML ought to give it to us! I'd vote Meh. I want my Meh!

lmaoatyourlife 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:31

Agreed.

IdolChatter 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 15:46

The PROPER response (instead of FML) would have been "That's even better - bring the webcam with you"

lostguy 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 4:29

awesome idea! ydi for not making your girl take a webcam with her while peeing lol ^_^

Tylers_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:03

rofl at 21

rhythmbandit 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:08

OH NO, YOUR GIRLFRIEND PEES, YOUR LIFE IS SO ******

Kira_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:11

how about you come up with a better way to flirt than calling her hot.

chalkdust 4

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:14

That's what I was going to say. This belongs on MLIA.

kukopia 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:27

So you got a girlfriend. You're flirting with her online and she replys 'keep talking', meaning she likes what you're saying and wants more. She's comfortable enough with you to be honest about peeing (some women NEVER get to that level). Umm... where's the FML again? I lost it... Oh yea, be sure to reminis about this on your golden anniv.