Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
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Top comments
EvenHopeHides 0
you should take clear packaging tape on his pubes, then rip it off
tygerarmy 35
Besides the initial pain are you ok? Just get your brother back. He's gotta sleep sometime.
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Comments (80)
hAGoN_fml 0
ow?
MetallicA7X86 0
Look on the bright side, at least he didn't plastic wrap you to the couch
tblaank 0
Ohh my god that just sounds soooooo painful !! You must be a heavy sleeper to not wake up when he first put the tape on your lips ! Hope you feel better !
amandathepanda 0
:O One of my FMLs actually got posted! And my little brother ended up ripping off a ton of skin because they were so chapped. Like they were a bloody mess for two hours afterwards, and now they look disgusting because they are all swollen and scabby. Thank god I didn't have any major plans or anything. Still haven't thought of the perfect way to get revenge on him though.
Madrias 36
Superglue his hands to his face.
NINJAPROTOTYPE10 0
ZOMG!!! This is the first time an op has ever commented on their own post... nice work
writergirl69 0
Well, look on the bright side-- They're not chapped anymore!
KillWill11 0
well at least we all know your a ******
CaityCatastrophy 0
That's what I used to say when I was little. along with cigarats and pannacakes. Nobody ever told me it was incorrect. Geez. I was a stupid kid.
Ellen_Farrah 0
Oh my gosh what a little ass hole. I would have pounded the shit out of him.
jessbobessy09 0
THATS HILARIOUS
Jenrees94 0
ouch!!!