Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML
Today, my mother found out that my fiancée broke up with her last boyfriend because she didn't want kids and he did. She's now demanding that I either change her mind, or call things off with her. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
It's up to you, doesn't matter what anyone else says
Fall3nAngel 23
Great mum you've got there.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (160)
Yoshi_Fue 9
I still say that the "Virgin Mary" is just the lazy religion's excuse for "She's a cheating *****" You know it's true, OP. You can't stay a virgin forever. :P
Gameczar 0
Sex is sex is sex I don't get why people try to glorify sex that much. It's not magical, it's not holy, it's just sex. It feels good, people enjoy it, everyone enjoys it. Everyone just thinks "Oh, I'll save myself for someone and wait till I'm ready" Guess what, you're missing out.
Cinn_fml 23
So what? If people want to wait, let them. Also, not everyone who choses to wait till they're ready does it because they're trying to glorify it.
1oscar 0
there can be pleasure with out intercourse!!!
Islander_fml 5
The first time is going to be awkward, not special. You don't need to be in love with the person. Just have some kind of respect for them, and make sure they're free of disease.
roachymart 0
You should test drive the car before you buy it...
ArielTheMermaid 17
just wait then. NBD
HayHayMoose 0
Lucky. My mom doesn't even allow me to DATE! :P
CountMonteCristo 3
I created an account just to comment on this! My mom says the same thing to me all the time! she went on to tell me that "there's all different kinds of sex, just like there's all different kinds of sports. You want to find out your both playing the same game" and went on to say that she likes "tennis". To be fair, she also says wrap it before you tap it, etc. I also think it's crazy we're from the same state, nice to know I'm not the only one, stay strong!
fob420 0
& I thought I had problems with my mom
MothsWings 4
At least she's real.