Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a...

By Dutchee - 23/1/2012 11:27 - Netherlands

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21762

You deserved it

7352

Favorite

Health

Extreme late fees

All for nothing

Clocked

By NotHappyJan - 3/12/2018 03:00

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2595

You deserved it

1900

Favorite

By Malcolm654 - 29/9/2016 03:20 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14835

You deserved it

1834

Favorite

By RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) - 17/12/2014 18:47 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33776

You deserved it

6557

Favorite

By Talvesh - 15/12/2009 11:42 - United States

Today, I had my six month employee review. My manager said that my attendance was good, and I was exceeding my targets performance wise. My reward, a five cent per hour pay cut. Apparently the rate at which I started is too high to meet their current pay scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29901

You deserved it

2136

Favorite

By Dinho - 15/5/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49990

You deserved it

6628

Favorite

By Waiter - 4/7/2010 10:03 - France

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 years got engaged to a woman I can't stand. I work as a waiter at a catering company, they hired the company and requested me as a server for their engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54034

You deserved it

6332

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 16:02 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37873

You deserved it

5506

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 13:39 - United States

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25224

You deserved it

9612

Favorite

By sherryberry2013 - 10/6/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55420

You deserved it

7010

Favorite

By froulita - 31/10/2008 06:08 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend doesn't know if he should break up with me because he loves me too much, or to stay with me and make me suffer. I have no clue as to what's going on in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44987

You deserved it

5209

Favorite

By keerta_fml - 4/5/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4702

You deserved it

392

Favorite

By notagain - 7/3/2020 09:01

Grindr danger

Today, while on Grindr, I met a guy who seemed really nice and we hit it off. After chatting for a bit, I received a message from his wife, telling me I'd better leave him alone. This isn't the first time that's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1552

You deserved it

254

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/10/2014 08:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34739

You deserved it

6396

Favorite

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31907

You deserved it

3824

Favorite

By really_dad? - 17/8/2017 13:00

Today, I came out to my parents. After we had a talk about them accepting me, my dad said "now get out of here you little duck sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3739

You deserved it

642

Favorite

By CrappyCar - 14/5/2013 05:29 - United States

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43760

You deserved it

4217

Favorite

By Joe - 1/11/2009 16:35 - United States

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14770

You deserved it

50628

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 22:58 - United States

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48232

You deserved it

3349

Favorite

By omfgitburns - 6/1/2011 14:54

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48347

You deserved it

2848

Favorite

By Shower? - 19/10/2009 07:26 - France

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23283

You deserved it

6346

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/4/2013 16:02 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48086

You deserved it

4697

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/1/2016 15:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got let go from my job, because my personal cell phone doesn't always have signal, so I missed an important call from work. My contract specifically said I'd get a work phone, which never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22161

You deserved it

1553

Favorite

By home owner - 20/8/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32602

You deserved it

3346

Favorite

By Loki16 - 2/6/2016 08:40 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8397

You deserved it

732

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3100

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By b. - 24/9/2009 10:06 - Australia

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32022

You deserved it

10763

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 23:06 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30168

You deserved it

3713

Favorite

By Ceej - 28/10/2012 04:06 - United States - Grand Haven

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33735

You deserved it

7001

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/5/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49687

You deserved it

8572

Favorite

By pinchy - 7/3/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40841

You deserved it

4596

Favorite

By lel - 6/11/2018 13:30

Today, I got a blue screen of death on my brand new computer. Why? My parents installed an "anti-virus" before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2884

You deserved it

218

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/8/2009 23:29 - Canada

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

95457

You deserved it

3431

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/1/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3679

You deserved it

740

Favorite

By wtf - 10/1/2014 16:47 - United States - Delmar

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52875

You deserved it

4954

Favorite

By hello - 11/7/2010 00:57 - Jordan

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33246

You deserved it

8783

Favorite

By shotdown - 2/12/2015 20:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22462

You deserved it

2367

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/7/2012 14:10 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26878

You deserved it

3525

Favorite

By Daddy_issues - 2/6/2018 05:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. She took the opportunity to tell me that she's pregnant. With my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5201

You deserved it

259

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/5/2013 12:40 - Australia - Mooroolbark

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44046

You deserved it

10943

Favorite

By not even - 21/7/2016 11:20 - United States - Troy

Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in 3 months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13555

You deserved it

2702

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Zmeilerr | 22

#3930081 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:01

if you mean blueberry pancake, you're off the hook.

By GoW_Chick | 14

#3930119 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:05

I know what you mean pancakes can be very beautiful ... *sniffle*

COMMENTS

By Zmeilerr | 22

#3930081 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:01

if you mean blueberry pancake, you're off the hook.

xkayxkayx | 5

#3930096 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:02

Nope, rainbow pancakes!

Zmeilerr | 22

#3930102 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:03

pancakes*

GoW_Chick | 14

#3930156 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:08

Choclate chip pancakes that your mother made into fun shapes, ahh the good ole days. :)

Exeggcute | 5

#3930173 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:11

Mickey mouse pancakes!!!!!

KeyboardWarrior | 10

#3930223 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:19

Eggo ftw.

pinkcrayola | 0

#3930349 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:48

Ultimate blueberry rainbow chocolate chip unicorn shaped pancakes!

GoW_Chick | 14

#3930464 - Monday 23 January 2012 17:13

Hey 29 leggo of my eggo!

bitchslapped22 | 14

#3931001 - Monday 23 January 2012 19:32

Fuck Eggo, homemade is so much better

angrystare | 6

#3931051 - Monday 23 January 2012 19:39

Hes obviously refering to paincakes ( bad joke i know)

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#3931449 - Monday 23 January 2012 21:07

iHop holiday pancakes.

BeaterOfTheDrums | 15

#3931530 - Monday 23 January 2012 21:25

Denny's grand slam pancakes. :o

NoWaySick | 0

#3932294 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:17

at least he hasnt found the universal beauty in waffles...

Blue waffles...

pookberry | 4

#3932355 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:38

Has anyone else noticed that you cannot make homemade pancakes taste like those made at a diner? :/

kiran_fml | 5

#3933215 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 3:48

144- I did it one time, and then I could never do it again :(

By kimee21_fml | 15

#3930084 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:02

I love pancakes!

SugarCrazy | 14

#3930154 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:08

Everybody does. Was it really necessary to voice your opinion about them, though?

GoW_Chick | 14

#3930167 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:10

That's kind of the point of FML...

kimee21_fml | 15

#3930170 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:10

Why do you mind so much I did? ...

florido_fml | 10

#3930242 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:23

I love pancakes tooooooo goo pancakes wooooooohhhh

aceman1992 | 9

#3930280 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:32

Is there really about to be a fight over pancakes on here?

GoW_Chick | 14

#3930339 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:46

Who wouldn't fight over pancakes?

Zmeilerr | 22

#3930379 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:55

#37 - just wait till there's a political or religious FML. Comments usually get closed.

xXxIracebethxXx | 14

#3930955 - Monday 23 January 2012 19:25

Eww. Pancakes...

WAFFLES FTW.

aceman1992 | 9

#3931150 - Monday 23 January 2012 20:04

By the way 19, last time I checked FML wasn't ment for people to voice their opinions on pancakes.

GoW_Chick | 14

#3931204 - Monday 23 January 2012 20:12

True, but it is meant to voice your opinion on a FML story, and this one so happens to be about pancakes, so the comment was valid.

TJD28 | 3

#3931246 - Monday 23 January 2012 20:20

91 you do realize that a waffle is just a pancake with holes in it to hold syrup...

EvilPotato | 14

#3932142 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 0:15

20 because he's SugarCrazy :P.

ImInYourFACEbook | 8

#3932224 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 0:47

There will be no fighting over pancakes today! I brought the syrup so we are all good!

By brownov6969 | 4

#3930088 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:02

Yeah that is a bit odd

tparis123 | 5

#3930516 - Monday 23 January 2012 17:32

Whatever hes smoking I want some!

girl112891 | 7

#3931697 - Monday 23 January 2012 22:08

But pancakes ARE beautiful! They have this cushiony thing to them, so fluffy and smooth!

NAU_future | 7

#3932396 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:52

It's only odd If OP was sober, however if they made pancakes while high... Probably normal.

By So2011 | 4

#3930090 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:02

Pancakes are yummy.

koolkat27 | 13

#3932338 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:28

waffles are the same thing as pancakes, just with holes in it:/

By jonriise18 | 3

#3930092 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:02

Umm... this is FML. NOT WTF.

By obamathellama | 0

#3930093 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:02

Pancake Nirvana ftw?

RedPillSucks | 31

#3930123 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:05

more like "Pancake Nirvana, WTF?"

calithebandgeek | 0

#3930268 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:27

Nirvana means a state of perfect peace or enlightenment..

GoW_Chick | 14

#3930327 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:45

^ Thank you Webster...

hannahcorrine | 0

#3930443 - Monday 23 January 2012 17:09

"...I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment or.." hard being right all the time 34, isn't it?

By Mole116 | 4

#3930100 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:03

Yeah.. Probably want to get that head checked out.. :D

By nachos99 | 0

#3930104 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:04

I think maybe both...

By markrs | 0

#3930108 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:04

Ahh, a philosopher? Please, let's discuss this matter! Say, IHop?

ImInYourFACEbook | 8

#3932232 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 0:51

In this case I believe IHOP would stand for International House of Pyschos.

By GoW_Chick | 14

#3930119 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:05

I know what you mean pancakes can be very beautiful ... *sniffle*

brownov6969 | 4

#3930187 - Monday 23 January 2012 16:12

A touching moment in pancake history

cheefer | 0

#3932091 - Monday 23 January 2012 23:57

Can I touch your pancakes?

burtonbullet | 10

#3932325 - Tuesday 24 January 2012 1:24

I'm tearing up at the thought of them...:'-)