Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
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Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I told my friends that I have haphephobia, the fear of being touched. One of them said, "Why don't you try facing your fears?" and they all held me down and tickled me until they realized my pleas for them to stop were actually genuine when I stopped laughing and started crying… which took several minutes. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML
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Top comments
GiddyXD 0
I would've put my foot up his ass.
crazy_lil_thing 0
I woulda punched him in his face.
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Comments (199)
madchick123 0
It's alright. I ****** HATE feet. There soooo disgusting
rockinroyalty 0
dumb him he's not worth it and that doesn't help he's an ass for making you cry
bootje 5
Type on - sure. But not here. And it's better to have something to say, other than expressing that you have said/have not said/are going to say something and that you are 13 and use big words, too. It's not an accomplishment to be 13 and spell. I'm pretty sure that's the standard goal in education.
vaginabiscuit 0
hahaha that sucks !
Kua_Mei 0
Thank you, theRovingMage. :) #132: I repeated myself because you brought up my comments being all about me/trying to make the comments section about me; I pointed out what contradicts that and asked what you meant. Also, "expressing that you are going to say something"? Isn't clicking on the comment box and starting to type an expression of the fact that I am going to say something? And I fail to see a connection between using big words and spelling properly. I suppose more complex words are more difficult to spell, but... spelling /anything/ properly shouldn't be considered any sort of accomplishment on the Internet, regardless of age. There's a little red line and a list of suggestions if you spell something incorrectly, for goodness's sake!
brootalxkeni 0
xD haahahahahahaha I laughed hard at this one
bootje 5
I will try to put it in a different way. I am, after all, only trying to help you. There is a time and a place to use big words, and it isn't here. Also, you should keep in mind that there is a difference between sounding smart and being smart, and I am not saying you are ONLY sounding smart. However, I am saying that you can say smart things in an accessible and simple way (which is a sign of greater intelligence, to my opinion, and you will probably learn this as you continue on your journey to university and Nobel Prizes ;) ) I guess my original comment was about the fact that, out of nowhere, you announced that you were 13 and read dictionaries for pleasure. Somehow it didn't seem relevant. It seemed like something someone would say, who is waiting for applause. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Waiting for your denial of all this ;)
ShowChoirNikkie 0
ewww that's so freaken nasty I'm sorry but if that were my bf I would kick him in the nuts I really would
theRovingMage 0
Bootje, I disagree that there's a time and place for using "big words". It annoys me to no end that in order to communicate, I have to talk using words no longer than two syllables. How are we supposed to aspire to a higher linguistic medium if we're only allowed to use simple words? There's a time and place for jargon, yes. I'm in a jargon-heavy field, so when I talk to someone who doesn't know what I'm saying, yes, I try to make it as easy as possible. But using words like Kua_Mei does, (the most uncommon of which was affable, by the way) is just communication. Besides, with the prevalence of the iPhone and the free Dictionary.com app, there's no reason to be confused. Then there's the context clues that they teach you in middle school. Tl;Dr: Language is beautiful, and those who spell, think, and type correctly deserve as much respect as those who haven't yet discovered the period and comma.
bootje 5
This is pointless. Neither of us will agree with one another. FML will never be the higher linguistic medium that you dream of, I'm afraid. And why should it be? People come here for a laugh. The internet is already full of people insulting each other because they make grammar/spelling errors. It annoys me. Or do you think we should all reply now in poetic verses?