Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed, asking, "Is that your feet?" I'd forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I told my friends that I have haphephobia, the fear of being touched. One of them said, "Why don't you try facing your fears?" and they all held me down and tickled me until they realized my pleas for them to stop were actually genuine when I stopped laughing and started crying… which took several minutes. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML
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Top comments
GiddyXD 0
I would've put my foot up his ass.
crazy_lil_thing 0
I woulda punched him in his face.
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Comments (199)
notsoluckypup 12
dude, if it's an actual phobia, I would do dump his ass ...
notsoluckypup 12
So*
Kua_Mei 0
If I have any understanding of DocBastard, he is incapable of being confused (or, if it IS possible, he has the sense not to comment about it). He may act confused out of sarcasm to make people look like idiots, act confused out of mockery to make people look like idiots, or act confused to trigger a violent response and/or confusion at his confusion (also for the aforementioned reason). Then, again, I'm thirteen years old and rather new to FML (or, at least, new enough not to know folks here very well). Doc, I apologize if my judgement is entirely off and you're not as much as a... erm, bastard (for lack of cognitive ability due [due to sleep deprivation] which disallows me to be any more creative; it seems rather fitting, anyways) as I may make you out to be. No, I do not consider my excessive grandiloquence to mark me as intellectually superior. Or, as it was so deftly put, "u think ur always rite cus u use big wrods," -- this is false.
chappy5 0
you're a Pansy and your boyfriends a tool. you two are perfect for each other
5t3ff1k4h 47
Holy shit. An intelligent 13 year old?!?! One who types properly and can construct sentences? One who uses big words and knows what they mean? ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS SARCASM?! ...I'm thoroughly impressed. And yes, that's mainly what Doc's about.
yeppers6502 0
he's a keeper.
AlmightyFish 0
I feel your pain, op.
jessxoxo28 5
yes, such phobia sounds ridic, but its a phobia... and all phobias are terrible. dump the dumbass.
Kua_Mei 0
I'm not sure whether to laugh or to despair at how surprising it is to find said qualities in today's youth. (It seems laughter won over; thank you. xD) I'll simply say that, with the father I have, /not/ having an understanding of English as deep as grammar and basic use of language and of humor pertaining to various forms of sarcasm, satire, mockery, etcetera would be quite difficult. Oh, and it probably helped that I used to read dictionaries when I had trouble sleeping (and often struggle with insomnia). Now, if only I didn't so thoroughly abuse (or, at least overuse) parenthetical statements (the irony kills me) and make paragraphs out of what should only be a sentence or two. Have I already thanked you? Beyond thanks for a much-needed joke, I'm glad of the good impression I've left. I'm also glad I reckoned him well, despite my dubious cognitive ability (why do I feel as though I'm being redundant? --have I already cast doubt upon it by stating my sleep deprivation?). *flees before she can type a completely irrelevant wall of text*
Kua_Mei 0
I was referring to myself in that last part, by the way. I don't seem to be able to speak in the first person in... actions? Is there a consensus on the word used to describe what's inside asterisks? I'm not very... learned, if you will, in Internet "lingo." (The farthest my vernacular deviates from something you might find in a textbook is usually "LOL," "OMG," or some other stiff exclamation that makes it seem like an out-of-touch 57-year-old is typing, rather than a hopefully not-so out-of-touch 13-year-old. ...I don't think I've ever used that many hyphens in one sentence before.) Ah-h-h-h, see what I mean by "[making] paragraphs out of what should only be a sentence or two"? This comment only needed the first sentence! D: I think I should try to go to sleep now.
raiderh808 0
This whole thread proves two things: society is thin skinned and pop culture is promoting weakness. The real advice would be for op to seek professional help and not "dump his ass". Dumping him would be the weak way out.
quackImapenguin 16
He has proven that he doesn't respect her feelings or her boundaries, so yes, she should dump his ass. Getting professional help for the phobia would also be a good idea. She can do both that and dump his ass. But dumping his ass is the priority because having a disrespectful boundary violating boyfriend is pure hell while a phobia us usually more of an inconvenience.