Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, the daughter of a patient called me, again, on my direct line after I repeatedly told her she had to go through the secretary for non-urgent matters. She said, "OMG, are you serious?" and hung up on me mid-sentence while I was talking about her father. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
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Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
WOW. Since it was so ******* important (HELLO, JOB), you should punish her by making her live off of the bare minimum for at least a month - NO CELL PHONE AT ALL, basic shitty food, no new clothes, etc.
Simbo_fml 0
wow. you have a really messed up daughter.
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Comments (246)
the_boss_fml 0
some one tell me this, how does a woman someone? i mean seriously, even though it is possible it is EXTREMELY rare.
the_boss_fml 0
how does a woman rape someone*
Peroxide 3
Well im gonna take one for the team and volunteer myself to be raped by a woman so we can find out how they do it. Why do i get all the shitty jobs?
cbearxo 0
Wow, stupidity amazes me sometimes. It was a female yelling "RAPE", it said nothing about the female raping anyone.
noName123456 0
Wow, stupidity amazes me sometimes. If you manage to look down below were you click FYL or YDI it will say the gender of the OP. See right there it says. On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia) Just in case you were not sure Woman means Female.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Wow, stupidity amazes me sometimes. The daughter never screamed that it was the mother doing the raping. Also, women can rape just as well. Ever heard of strapons or viagra?
esdawg 0
Ask her if she's gonna enjoy living in a motel for the holidays cause she just cost daddy any chance for a decent income for himself AND his daughter. Seriously, teenagers are so stupid, they'll spite someone while in the process screwing themselves over just as badly.
BeeSkwaird 0
OP = female
th_fml 0
SOMEBODY GONNA GET A HURT REAL BAD. HAHAH http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lQFee3A4Zw
Inspired22 11
I think her punishment should be to volunteer with actual rape victims. Let's see if she thinks it's so funny to cry rape after that.
redbluegreen 41
Agreed.
Peroxide 3
wtf is this good advice doing on the internet? You sir have brought shame to the internet and everything it stands for. Now lets try and forget this by watching some internet ****.
Besker 0
**** making her volunteer, go for though love. Make your daughter walk home through the most dangerous part of town alone at night, if she survives she's learned her lesson, but if she gets what she deserves, then that's better. let her learn rape isn't a joke
Lawlipop 3
This is a brilliant idea. It would show her that rape isn't something to joke about. But I also think that, on top of this, you should take away her phone permanently and make her live on budget-cut type living. She's clearly a spoiled brat, but I'm not going to jump to the conclusion that it's necessarily your fault entirely like some people have. Sure, you've probably given in to her one too many times, but I know plenty of kids who got basically whatever they wanted and aren't brats at all. It's a matter of personality. Hopefully it's not too late to turn her around at least a little. Good luck.
xTheSceneQueenxx 0
Yes. Set your daughter up to get raped. How responsible. I hope you don't breed.
lady_unknown 0
Seems like you need full load of parenting classes to take. Like mother like daughter… she sure is living by example. Where's dad?
blastvortex 4
It looks like somebody's gonna be grounded for a good long time.
Major_General 10
Girl deserves five across the eyes for that.
kindness 0
if you can't salvage the job. make HER get one and pay you all her wages. would serve her right...
yellowbirdx 0
Kids of that age have a mind of their own, to everyone who keeps saying it was bad parenting. Just because you teach someone right from wrong doesn't mean they'll follow those rules, or else every murderer, rapist, or anyone who has committed any kind of crime could blame their actions on their parents. Sometimes it just doesn't have anything to do with the parenting; the girl was pissed, she saw a revenge opportunity, she took it. Stupid, yes, probably not well thought out, but for God's sake DON'T BLAME IT ALL ON THE PARENT. Jeez. Also.. Who says OP is a woman (to all you "how do women rape" people)? Maybe they're posting under their spouse/friend's account coz they don't wanna make one.
ihatestupidppl 0
Sure, kids have a mind of their own. But your parents are your primary influence at that age and should teach you not to use that mind to act like a total moron. Seriously, it's called self-control. 13 year olds are DEFINITELY old enough to know what that means. Shit, I learned self-control starting at 8 years old, thanks to a combination of effective parents and an excellent martial arts instructor. My parents never hit me, not once in my life. But if I had ever had the audacity to do anything as ugly as yell out "rape" for ***** and giggles as part of some kind of adolescent rampage, I would not have blamed my mother if she had beat the daylights out of me. But of course, I didn't pull any stunts like that, because, shock of all shockers, my parents knew how to raise a child. I'm sorry, but it is not difficult to raise a respectful kid. If more people were willing to parent instead of just reproduce, the world would probably be a better place.
Grayscale 9
Kids of that age have a mind of their own, but whether it's good or bad is up to the parents. Just because you tell someone to do something didn't mean that you already did your parenting job, parenting is much more than just giving order to your child. Sometimes people thought the children was just influenced by bad friends, but that's also counted as bad parenting. Stupid, yes, absolutely because not well taught out, and for God's sake DON'T BLAME IT ON THE KIDS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TEACH THEM PROPERLY. Jeez.
williamlittle 11
Actually facts clearly state you are more influence by your friends rather than your parents.
ParkerBeach 1
Give her a good beating. Tell her she won't get her phone back till she can learn some self control and be more respectful of you as her parent. Also call that company back and apologize for your daughters actions. You might also want to consider giving your daughter another good whooping for good measure. Also consider cutting off her phone service if she continues to act like this and tell her she can pay for it herself.