Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, the daughter of a patient called me, again, on my direct line after I repeatedly told her she had to go through the secretary for non-urgent matters. She said, "OMG, are you serious?" and hung up on me mid-sentence while I was talking about her father. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
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Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
WOW. Since it was so ******* important (HELLO, JOB), you should punish her by making her live off of the bare minimum for at least a month - NO CELL PHONE AT ALL, basic shitty food, no new clothes, etc.
Simbo_fml 0
wow. you have a really messed up daughter.
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Comments (246)
eltorobignasty 0
wow, your daughter sucks
ANTONKR 0
you now should really rape her!!
ohwoahemilyy 0
Haha, I'm thirteen and I would do that. =x
agent_fml 0
thats sad
iwadasn 33
And then you would have no new clothes, no spending money, and nothing but the bare necessities (probably not even very good food for awhile) because you had cost your mother her job.
holycrap7890 0
YDI for even buying a 13 year old a phone in the first place. What are they going to use it for? They can't even drive a car yet, and if they need to call their friends they can use the home phone. If they need a ride from school they can use the office school phone. Simple as that.
Hermyoni 0
#133 I agree.
paxa_fml 0
touche
littlejacks4 0
kids are such effing BRATS today i can't even stand it anymore.
shootingstar8D 0
spank her ass she deserves it
osnd 0
K #127. How do you think people got along in the world before cell phones were invented? Seriously, don't assume #28 had no friends or no life. You know what happens when you assume: you make an ASS out of U and ME. I had a very active social life in high school but still never had a phone. Cell phones are not necessary for 13 year olds. There were many reasons for this: 1- It builds character and responsibility to pay for a cell phone. Handing a child a cell phone does not reinforce its value. You have to make the kid work for it. Personally, I had no job, thus no money to pay for it until after I graduated. ( I got my first phone just before I moved away to college) 2- Where is a kid going to go at age 13? They can't drive. So really whats the use of the cell phone? If parents keep their kids under supervision there is no need to spend 40 dollars a month on the phone. 3- What kind of place do you live in where there are threats of kids dying and getting raped without a cell phone? If a neighborhood is really that bad the kid shouldn't be leaving the house. 4- Where is a kid going to go that they get lost anyway? Running away maybe? 5- The whole point of grounding is misery. A phone provides a distraction from that and the kid doesn't learn the lesson. Any parent knows that. 6- A kid can set plans from a home phone as well as get homework. Or alternatively, a parent can go to the school and pick it up. Call your boss from your parent's/home phone. 7- Cheating on tests? Really? What kind of person are you? Look, I just proved your points stupid. Here's an alternative to the cell phone. Self-defense. Or just don't talk to strangers. A cell phone is not that useful either. Sure it can keep plans, but so can a PLANNER. You can stay in touch with friends, but it becomes a problem when it becomes a distraction from work. Heard of MySpace or Facebook? Maybe e-mail? Or here's an ancient form of communication: a letter. (which is nice by the way. Have you ever gotten one?) Also, taking something away a child doesn't need is dumb. Very dumb. Reason: They won't learn the lesson if they lose something they didn't need in the first place. I agree with the OP and #28. They are not dumb bitches. Maybe you need to take the foot out of your mouth. (Read over your post a little too. It is very bitchy with the capital letters and name-calling).
Sapphy 0
your daughter is a brat. >:( kick her ass and make it very clear how that job is important to not just you but her as well since thats obviously money you could be making to support the family.
Ms_See 0
Once I saw this was from Georgia I wasn't surprised at all. All the children there are brats.