Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
Fop 6
YDI for hiding in someone else's closet... What the heck?
hockeyfml555 0
good job moron
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Comments (204)
aback 5
He thought it would be sexy to slap the shit out of you.
rayrayy_fml 0
First of all, why in the world would you think he would find it sexy to have his naked girlfriend pounce on him as he reaches for pants? That sounds awful, to be honest. And two, your bf slaps people that charge at him? What a girly response.
gigi37 0
Exactly; it really isn't sexy at all to have someone naked jump out at you from where robbers and/or killers would usually hide... It would be sexy if you were waiting on his bed naked...but hiding in a closet merely to scare him? No way And haha #12, yeah, that was a girly response on his part.
littlegolferboy 4
Well what do you expect? He is French after all.
mattmag 0
He's a French pimp!
feminist19 0
i think we are all mising the bigger picture here, the boyfriend physically assaulted his girlfriend. to the OP you should get out of this abusive relatioship now before its too late
tWitt3rBuG 0
Lma0, that's what happens when kids play around. Boo F'n Hoo!
Fractal_fml 0
Wait, he has heightened reflexes, and when somebody jumps out at him he SLAPS them? Wtf?
kukopia 0
Combine the hints; boyfriend, closet, pounce, slap...
Person_Man 0
haha #75 thats perfect
mousy 0
Wowza ok then, You tryed to suprise him ,he slaps you ouch! But it would of been better if it was someone else that opened the door Anyways kudo's for trying to be spontanious
deaditegirl 0
Hiding in closets generally isn't sexy. YDI.
alex_vik 1
Be grateful you just got slapped.
ragsy 7
You sound more like a stalker than a girlfriend.
crazzle 0
What isn't more sexy than having a naked person jump out at you?