Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
illeyad 0
that made no sense. It took me a long time to figure out you were talking to a boy on the phone when your mother called your name. Lastly, who cares- so what you were in the washroom when talking to someone you are close to.
nuclear 0
Not much of an FML. Embarrassing but whatever, he's your boyfriend. I'm sure he knows that you're embarrassed so he hopefully won't care much. Sorry I don't know why I'm giving advice. :)
Yeoman 0
Haha YDI. Getting confused while on the can is hard to do. Phone. Mother. Phone. Mother. Its not hard.
deegee12 0
YDI the end.
Kamazar 0
Repeat after me: "Hey, could you gimme a sec? Thanks." There are certain sounds that should never, EVER reach that mic.
easylazy 0
this sucks
AskMeAnything 0
Everyone look at my profile for some advice! click my name
dol567 0
Can you clarify who you're talking about? I'm assuming "he" is your boyfriend (because most FMLs are boyfriend/GF oriented nowadays) but clarification would be nice, especially as you didn't use up that many characters.
ohdamn_fml 2
So was it a boyfriend? Or a guy you really liked/starting dating? That could change this whole "FML"
ohhhhshizzz 0
Now this would be worse if you were taking a crap, on the crapper. Yeah Im pretty lame, but anyways. So it's called mute. Listen to everything, then be like oh yeahhh. Mute, or just say: Hey I have to go do something, hang on. Not like y'all were debating about War & Peace or something or nother.