Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
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Top comments
Lebeaugars95 20
Your boyfriend sounds really fun
PhatCake 10
Did you tell him you were sober?
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Comments (60)
itiswatitis 3
Lol
RobinGoodfellow 47
He sounds super duper......
sevlight 5
He should be grateful
beccarey9 17
He shouldn't be such a prude so early
adam_nvx 19
I can almost see your boyfriend's point of view; especially after the "but now I need a drink" comment. If all it takes is a misunderstanding to send you to the bottle, I mean.. come on. (I'm sure this, like all of my comments, will be thumbed down.)
MsCitizenKane 7
If you can tell when you post your comment that it will be down voted, then you shouldn't post it.
countryb_cth 38
You do realise that "I need a drink" is just an expression for a tough time or something like that. She wasn't actually going to get a drink. -_-
adam_nvx 19
really... this is my point exactly; thumbed down, and clearly not a single person can see how ironic my comment is. I guess I need to spend more (read, any) time on reddit.
thefmlman2011 37
sounds like something Sheldon Cooper would do.
Alverja 2
If your boyfriend is worried, that you drink too much and start's thinking you're drunk already at lunchtime, and then you state you "need" a drink, maybe you should think about your relationship, not with him, but with alcohol ...
CaliCassanova 14
Is he ugly?? He might be confused lol
nphill82 21
I'm guessing your boyfriend is used to you only making advances when you're intoxicated?
hannahbanana0 6
Send him a picture that might bring him home ;)