Intimacy: Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing...

By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 4 692

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 873

You deserved it 590

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 173

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 4 774

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 128

Light sentence

By ClumsyTeen - 13/05/2021 23:57 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 2 167

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 17:39 - Spain - Mon?var

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 3 452

Life is pain

By pussy - 21/04/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, since my family and friends always make fun of me for being a wuss when it comes to pain, when I stubbed my toe, I made a point to not scream or complain in any way. Instead, I vomited and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 224

By Unlucky - 09/10/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 655

You deserved it 4 952

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 703

You deserved it 7 578

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 677

fatalkiss 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:32

My parents were all, "orgasms are natural & beautiful things, after all, thats how we created you."

BugsBunny1 4

Saturday 7 May 2011 6:35

For some reason, your username and comment look very strange together.

Comments

dirtyblond 4

Sunday 8 May 2011 10:43

I bet it would :) LOL!

IscoreOnU 19

Sunday 8 May 2011 11:20

Happens to us all.

greening1 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 17:40

hahaha this is so ****** funny

evikeysn 1

Monday 9 May 2011 0:05

Heh, I guess at the times like this it would be better to throw in some swear words instead of moans, right? :)

kaylynn732 0

Monday 9 May 2011 3:37

I've stunned my toe and I've had an ****** or two. they don't really sound that much alike....

101autie 0

Monday 9 May 2011 4:10

My parents told me I was made from true laziness!

sammy259 3

Monday 9 May 2011 4:53

u sure

FYL1313 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 4:55

Next time, just say "ouch!"

Funnywayz 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 6:33

Haha I agree. But still :/.....

Funnywayz 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 6:28

Parents are crazy some times! Good luck with them!

Poster_Pastry 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 5:59

maybe you shouldn't make sex noises when you get hit smartass

Keywords

Roommate Music Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Relatable TV shows Animals Dogs Cheating AITA Weird Sports Love Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Work Capitalism Money Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks

The Top

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 138

You deserved it 9 497

The Top

Today, while washing the dishes at work I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 471

You deserved it 5 701

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 546

You deserved it 7 872

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 500

You deserved it 4 242

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 491

You deserved it 7 847

Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 558

You deserved it 12 074

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 458

You deserved it 5 670