Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML
Today, at 7 a.m., I ended up outside in a nightdress, barefoot and in the rain. I've just found out that my two-year-old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, I was taking a nap when my dad texted me, asking me to go check the mail. So I went outside, then the wind blew the front door shut, and it automatically locked. I didn’t have my key. FML
Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML
Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML
Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Go for a walk and smell the roses.You don't need to be inside. Just don't get run over by a goat.
CockRocket 0
He's pretending. Shout through that you've got some money and toys for him. That'll get him to open the door.
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Comments (147)
kaptvesou1 4
how about getting a neighbor to call a lock out service... retard.
cldean24 4
Break the **** into your house! Then you can pretend to be an intruder, your kid will never sleep soundly again. This is also a prime example of why I want to buy lock picking devices and keep them with me at all times. Or so I can rob people.
RaVeN53 7
ok so u obviously have some way to communicate with ppl since ur on FML, have u thought of callin anyone? police maybe O_o
DesB 7
And if they don't have a house phone? Not all people have house phones you know I know I don't we depend on our cell phones in this house.
tarajordan 0
why not call the house phone.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Not everybody has a house phone. There have actually been studies into the fact that the use of landlines is declining because relying on one's cell phone is cheaper.
2499287 0
by saying you could see him why didn't you use whatever your on to get someone to help you.
Ilikethenamesam 3
One time when I was a kid I had really bad diarrhea and I tried yelling for my parents down the hall because my butt hurt when I tried to stand but my parents sleep with a pillow over their head and earplugs FML
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Cool story, bro.
melpo 0
Same. Lady, it's only going to get worse.
bamfxd 4
Haha I'm locked out of my house right now. I've waited 3 hours so far for someone to come home.
ohowe 1
You should have an extra key hidden somewhere outside the house just for this event.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Contrary to popular belief that is a really dumb idea. The key may be useful if you get locked out but it also just invites people breaking in because no matter how well you think you've hid a hide-a-key, someone will find it. The neighbors are likely to see you hiding a key, and smart thieves automatically check the top of the door frame and look around for those fake rocks and crud and check under real rocks. The better thing to do is have locks that absolutely can't lock behind you if you don't want them to.