Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML
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Top comments
TomFantastic 0
Wow now THAT is a real FML, bad times
KatieGoesRawrr 0
ouuchh
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Comments (82)
smexy_sasori123 0
ouchi.... :D
kels13 0
Critical crowd aren't you? Ever considered a perfectly cleanly house where she did something like come in the door, kicked off some heels, went to get water or something before cleaning up, dropped the cup and cut her foot, and then went to bandage the wound before worrying that her house was clean enough to suit all of your personal tastes?Or a person with a messy roommate who owned the heels? I've known people who are freakishly organized do similar things in a house where you could eat off the floors. When your in pain, you generally don't tread lightly and carefully, you run for a band aid or something.
nodbor 11
yes we are, and you are too wordy.
jessamyn_it_is 0
what about cleaning your place?
dragonflygal 0
I found this very comical! it sucks, but it's very funny!!!
Guitarist45 0
this is like something out of Happy Tree Friends
loveyahun 0
ouch...I did sumfin like that today...except with a mirror and a wall :/
Funky_Daniel 0
epic fail. ydt
Funky_Daniel 0
epic fail. ydt
cdpaynee 0
apparently you need to clean up your house, geez!
FML858 0
Eww duude watch were yur going that friggen nasty