Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML
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Top comments
TomFantastic 0
Wow now THAT is a real FML, bad times
KatieGoesRawrr 0
ouuchh
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Comments (82)
Sun_Kissed18 25
Someone is a clutz haha do we need to break out the plastic bubble?
som_fml 0
i'm surprised no one has noticed how much of a slob this person must be to have so much odd shit on the ground.
why_me725 0
WTF?! Don't you ever clean your room? Shoes do come in a box for a reason sweetie... And what ever happened to the foot sliding method when there's broken glass on the floor?
Tequilamockngbrd 7
You keep shoes in the boxes?
mandark 9
Really, who does that? The only pair of shoes I've kept in the box is my Uggs, because they cost ridiculously much. :l
pikantna777 0
I did the same thing when I was at summer camp, but with a nail. I definitely learned my lesson from that double whammy.
tayzer_fml 0
At least it wasn't your nipple. :D
MYLIFEFFINGSUCK 0
Lmao. I thught I was having a bad day...FYL sorry hun!
chairlee 3
Just so some of you know, the glass was not in my apartment.
chairlee 3
and it was, invisible or something. because i was watching where i stepped.
chairlee 3
I was just standing right outside the door. It could have happened to anybody, but it happened to me. haha.
rachelbrianna25 0
megan? is that you?