Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
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Top comments
Araoth 5
Did you dress as cat Santa? :)
Mr25_fml 14
Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*
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Comments (286)
tschulte0296 4
I stuffed my cats stockings and put them up where they couldn't get them and went to bed. Today I gave them to them this morning. Part of the game is for them to pull the toys out of the stockings. Cats are nocturnal animals.
brenda83002 2
That's awesome lol
tschulte0296 4
loving your animals is never pathetic.
Pharrell1994 2
Thats hilarious lol
cass1_l0ve 13
Okay that's a bit... Extreme. But nice holiday spirit :))
CrassKal 27
Aren't cats nocturnal?
Enslaved 38
They are. (: but they also sleep ??? I think it 16 to 20 hours a day. The cat in my picture is such a lazy ass! I rarely see him awake and it's always at night when I do. :P
SeedlessMe 13
I think your cat should have a little talk with ours.. ;-) They're up almost all day, & go to bed with us. One of them even sleeps under my blankets at times haha.. Although, in their defense, they were partially raised by dogs!
22jrdn55 15
@tschulte0296 are you the OP? I have a feeling you are!
Dixie___Normous 0
Santa is not real!! Way to be a dick OP
THE_A_TEEN 28
Santa's not real?? I ******* hate you!!!!!!!
Llama_Face89 34
Forgot cats are nocturnal, eh?
MeLuvBewbs 7
It's SANDY CLAWS!