Animals: Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats...

By Anonymoose - 25/12/2011 11:39 - Switzerland

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 632

You deserved it 55 471

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Same thing different taste

By iFail - 25/12/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 5 482

By catlover - 13/12/2012 11:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 219

You deserved it 32 303

By imahater07 - 25/12/2015 06:28

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 223

You deserved it 1 698

By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 9 858

By kookoocatlady - 01/11/2016 04:31

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 862

You deserved it 1 612

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 183

By DumbLackofLuck - 22/12/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 8 972

By tryon777 - 29/07/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 318

You deserved it 5 088

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 125

You deserved it 3 543

By Anonameow - 02/01/2016 16:57 - United States - Fairfax

Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Year's break, she still hasn't finished up her Skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching YouTube videos with her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 224

You deserved it 1 809

Araoth 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:21

Did you dress as cat Santa? :)

Mr25_fml 14

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:26

Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*

Comments

littlebitty01 1

Monday 26 December 2011 3:15

Ummm, I can't say anything nice about this.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 26 December 2011 3:32

You know they're not going to leave you any milk, right?

Bmac98 0

Monday 26 December 2011 4:00

you have issues.

GotParamore 2

Monday 26 December 2011 4:29

How sad

Somepplschildren 0

Monday 26 December 2011 4:33

Did your kids move out on you?

BamBamGraham 3

Monday 26 December 2011 4:50

and this is why you will die alone, in a pile of your own filth. get a life you retard.

Albertkoholic 8

Monday 26 December 2011 5:12

How is this an FML? Ur just an idiot.

coldsteele152 1

Monday 26 December 2011 5:36

Wtf is wrong with you?

giggler25 0

Monday 26 December 2011 5:37

Cat stockings? What is happening to society??

couchornament32 0

Monday 26 December 2011 6:12

.................... wow

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 91

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 14 939

The Top

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 5 063

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 919

You deserved it 2 421

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 034

You deserved it 4 238

Today, I live in a studio and I can hear really weird noises coming from my neighbours, my walls, my floor and even inside, without knowing what did fall/scratch/move. I seriously wonder if someone lives hidden in the walls. I don't know if I should call the cops, a psychiatrist or an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 91

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 97

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 358

You deserved it 7 397

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

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