Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML
Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
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Top comments
JGrevious 0
charming. absouluty charming
Freeze_fml 17
How do you forget to wash your hands after taking a massive dump? Sick.
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Comments (245)
sxychik 4
uhm..
CharlotteRx 4
You are ******* DISGUSTING! Not washing your hands after pooping, biting your nails, what's next? not showering at all and peeing in empty bottles in your bedroom? Honestly, I hope you get typhoid! At least that will make you remember to be more careful with what you put in your mouth and the basics of hygiene (such as WASHING YOUR FREAKING HANDS BEFORE EATING/AFTER GOING TO THE BATHROOM).
a_borshunist 0
Yo that's not an FML, that's ******* HOT. Are you into scat play? 19/m/Toronto here, hit me up with that shit (lol) [email protected].
a_borshunist 0
Dawg don't hate, I piss in bottles all the time. I got 2 collections in my room, one for drinkin and one for chuckin at cars.
GETOVERIT2039 0
Unless you stuffed your finger up your own butt hole while taking the dump, I think you'll be alright.
melsababe 0
ewwwwww N A S T Y .
thatonedude07 0
who actually does wash their hands after the restroom anyways...unless ur in a public bathroom so the other people don't think ur nasty
buttonface 0
You people are ******* discusting. YDI for being nasty.
mandude21 0
how the hell is this an fml there is probably not shit on his hands....
chuck86 0
maybe you should wash your hands after going to the bathroom you sick f*ck