Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
"I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth." Sounds like my ex-wife.
DocBastard 38
It's ok, I'm a doctor and I can help you. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. It's the only cure. Sorry.
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Comments (124)
NickCheeeez 5
sucks
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with orbit!
sexybeastsexybea 0
or handsoap.
kateeeh 0
dude, your pic?
kateeeh 0
(troll boy)
fritz2 0
troll ******.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
what's wrong with my pic?
morgan320 0
70, he is just jealous. OP, better wash your mouth sooner or later.
zapzapp 0
eww! haha xD
mamamiaaa_fml 12
70-I like your pic. you look very satisfied. erm yeah.
sasonzal 4
ah shit I remember like 5 years ago before I could even read English I found a tube of bengay in the medicine cabint and I brushed my teeth with it,only a few weeks later I realised what happend,I miss my childhood...
jpest17 5
maybe she had a dirty mouth and subconusly knew it needed to be cleaned out!
Babay_gurl457 0
I have a highly painful and contagious strain of herpes which I caught from having intimate relations with undomesticated cats, and I require immediate assistance and/or advice on what to do to cure myself of this debilitating condition. Wee-woo.
Freeze_fml 16
Just kill yourself.
bedburgular 0
too bad your not first
zp5 4
i think you need some help.
McMan 23
Was it a mod or not hmmmm. Wee-woo.
zp5 4
this is the part every1luvsboners comes in and finds that comment hot.
maybaybe 0
i'm a mod.
ooitastic 0
To cure your debilitating condition, put some soap up your dick and go deep sea diving with a blueberry muffin.
zp5 4
really? i thought it was a one-eyed monkey with constipation.
DocBastard 38
It's ok, I'm a doctor and I can help you. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. It's the only cure. Sorry.
zp5 4
i want to play leapfrog with a unicorn D:
ooitastic 0
Naw, I think another cure is to Climb a Double Rainbow to Space and play Pokemon with Rudolph the Reindeer.....
Selena_is_back 7
22, too late!!! I have captured all Unicorns with my unicorntrapinator! xD
zp5 4
i want to play Pokemon with Rudolph the Reindeer D:
frozenshake 5
25- yo pwetty :) 27- me too D:
FFML_314 11
Why do you have to talk like a baby? Freeze, how I missed your wit.
ItsJustMak 0
Is it bad that I find this very hot?
FFML_314 11
If this were any other place, I would say yes.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
1 gram of lysine a day will help control the herpes outbreaks, but I recommend u just have someone pinch you to bring you back to reality
krazeeguy 0
I wish I had this problem... I bet cats are a little nicer then ferrets...
tundraman07 0
wont hurt you......same basic ingredient believe it or not....sodium laurel sulfate.....tastes like Crap I imagine! haha
maybaybe 0
FAYUL
simple885 0
send me some pics
naximus93 0
Learn how to spell, Dip-wad.
maybaybe 0
HAHAHAHAHAH
baddawg365 0
Just like your comment.... FAIL
maybaybe 0
fail, just like your low-troll-life.
baddawg365 0
WTF is a troll? I see someone saying it when they get insulted. Don't get mad just because you want something tube shaped in your mouth.
maybaybe 0
I'm not mad nor do I want "something tube shaped" in my mouth. I just dislike it when jerks such as yourself insult others just for the sake of it. You sir, need to get a life.
EpicPear 0
Everyone. Shhh.... the blonde doesn't know what she's talking about....
maybaybe 0
don't talk to me like that, you're a ******* pear
EpicPear 0
yes I am a "*******" pear... day n' night. ;)
maybaybe 0
I'm a ******* twat.
DrAwesome 6
"I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth." Sounds like my ex-wife.
maybaybe 0
win
RedPillSucks 31
You shouldn't admit to being so small that she didn't notice
bedburgular 0
lol nice
DrAwesome 6
I never said I was small. This mostly occurred when she was sleeping, that's all.
4bidden 0
your too ugly to get any when shes awake so you sneak up on her when shes sleeping? damn no wonder why she's an "ex-wife"??
DrAwesome 6
Oh, you sure told me. I don't know how I'll ever get over that. Ouch, I think you're right. Honestly, if your profile picture wasn't a dude lifting his shirt, someone might take you seriously. Scary thought of the day.
chetchatter 5
YDI dipshit
uroborous 0
that does suck, but op you have to laugh at that one, it's a classic mistake
DncrHap 9
okay, yes, that's what she said. but also you just have a dirty, naughty, filthy, nasty mouth. it deserves soap.
mite_fml 0
heyyyyy how youuu ddoin'??
DncrHap 9
do i even want to know what this said?
spanelli 16
No!
DncrHap 9
fair enough.
Trollz4daLULZ 1
YDI for living in a place with a bathroom, for not paying attention to such an important operation as personal hygiene, and for even having a mouth in which to place a toothbrush.
therealsuperman 0
this actually a common mistake... for Alzheimer's patients