Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML
Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML
Today, I'm starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been told what my duties are, who my line manager is, or who to ask if I need help. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
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Top comments
revcanon 0
eh...you are probably the only person in the world that knew
babybubz 0
*boing*
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Comments (88)
JustStopSucking 0
"if they asked about it"?!? I am amazed that you think this would ever happen. And that you think your little explanation would help. Next time you shit yourself in public, just say "everybody poops".
D3kl3 0
something was turning you on?
Craw25 0
I hope you didn't forget your pants!
perdix 31
I hope your new office nickname is not "The Pencil Guy."
marc33 0
who u were thinking....?? ur director or person next to u..? lol
KateeJo 0
OP didn't shit himself, he got a boner. d:
alin123 0
WTF gave u a hard on
bridgette5866 0
Um, #26 wasn't saying OP shit himself.He was comparing a boner to ******** yourself. You very well wouldn't pass it off as "Oh, everyone does it." That was the point being made.
Button_Up 0
sorry dude but that's a ydi learn to control yourself next time
MXavierT 0
Learn to control erections? Good luck with that lol.
thrice324 0
Was the director impressed? Consider you wrote this as an FML I would guess they weren't. Too small, better luck next time.