Suspense

Suspense is no killing me!!!!

Just say no to crack!

Why didn't you tell him his pant were falling or help him carry the the stuff upstairs.

My guess is, if they're making a story like this, they're a jerk.

Imagine how awkward it was for him!

Why didn't you bring this to his attention, and offer to hold his items, or something, while he pulls up his pants? I would've been humiliated of I was your coworker D:

It says op was also carrying something (namely, lunch - presumably on a tray or some such), so op's hands were full, too.

I don't understand why you would walk directly behind a bare ass, maybe just put a little space between the loaded gun and yourself?

As awkward as that was for you it had to be twice as bad for him. Why didn't you offer to carry or at least hold something while he fixed things?

Why does it matter that he was heavy? Would you not have cared if he'd been skinny? I wouldn't want an ass near my food no matter whose it was or what size it was.

I'm praying your lunch was a tossed salad. Please say it's so!

Why were you walking directly behind him? Have you not heard of personal space? And did you not warn him about his pants falling down? Sure, he probably already knew but, still, letting him know is the human thing to do and he could've injured himself. Also, why even mention that he's "heavy"? It should have zero relevance. YDI.