By K-Rat - 09/10/2016 12:16 - United States

Today, my cat loves to chase birds. In fact, he loves it so much, he ran out of the litter box mid-poop to chase one, forcing me to wipe his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 410
You deserved it 1 038

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Today, after a lifetime of captivity, a neutering, and induced perpetual kittenhood—what science folk refer to as "behavioral neoteny"—I finally saw a chance to fulfill my predatory purpose! Not only did I fail miserably, but my captor took the opportunity to further humiliate me with unwanted ass-play.

I would be tempted to flip the cat the bird, but that's exactly what it would want. Damn those accursed intelligent beings!

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Seems like a shitty situation. (I'm sorry)

I would be tempted to flip the cat the bird, but that's exactly what it would want. Damn those accursed intelligent beings!

Bird probably thought it was safe to fly past too, your cat is smarter than you think (and smarter than it probably looked at the time).

The cat "forced" you to wipe his ass? Who's the pussy in this scenario?

Today, after a lifetime of captivity, a neutering, and induced perpetual kittenhood—what science folk refer to as "behavioral neoteny"—I finally saw a chance to fulfill my predatory purpose! Not only did I fail miserably, but my captor took the opportunity to further humiliate me with unwanted ass-play.

You know, I've always been a dog person, but I love cats too. They sound like an absolute riot to live with.

They are funny- more affectionate than you think and super independent/capable of being alone if you work or go to school. I got my cat when he was a few weeks old and he's 12 now. We have moved 9 times together and is the best lap warmer lol. You won't regret a cat (though I love dogs too)!

Sounds like a cat alright

Maybe your cat should become an inside cat so it doesn't kill your native bird life.. or any bird life that matter.

I doubt OP has the cat use an outdoor litter box.

Then how does the cat have access to birds while in the litter box?

This thing called a pet door.

Wait what? So he only liked chasing birds today? What about yesterday? And the day before? And how were you forced you to wipe ass? So many questions

Better he could sit on your face and smother another hapless cat person off the planet for the rest of us... oh well, birds it is.