Today, I spent the first day of the New Year helping out at an old folks' home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Ernie, an 83 year-old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML
Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So he's showing off his wit and sense of humor? Or is he showing off his character, honor, and integrity? What's the problem here? I don't understand.
Doortje 30
Earnie is my new hero :D
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Comments (87)
love0128 5
I hope Earnie isn't his real name, bc you aren't supposed to talk about residents!!
starryxeyes 2
Haha go Earnie, next time you see him, ask him if he'd like another granddaughter xD
j_cat187 20
rofl 19 pic
fhchick3 0
Learn to use a semicolon.
flipstar530 0
U deserve it for volunteering at an old folks home
feilin 1
poor man obv has dementia and you have shown a total lack of respect for humanity by posting about it here , you should be so ashamed of yourself. One day you might be demented too and I wonder if someone will show you the lack of respect you show here...
Crysta_fml 3
You shouldn't be working with these residents, you obviously don't have enough respect for other people. You don't seem to be enjoying this work either, perhaps it'd be better for you and everyone in that care home, if you found another line of work to volunteer in. Fake name or not, that's far too much information to be posting on the internet, and in a derogatory context too? shameful.
ndm777 0
#82-Chill out girl!! I'm in the healthcare field
XxEmoKoalaxX 0
what'd he show off his dick? lol
nanabear90 0
hope nobody that knows "earnie" if you used his real name..although you was just volunteering it could result in you never getting a job in health care or volunteering again :-/